Page 76 of From Our First

I shook my head, then held my hand out as she tried to move the canvas away.

“I love it. I like that you covered my ass, so when my brothers see this, they won’t make fun of me. But if you want to use it, go for it. Anything you want, Myra, you can have it.”

She shook her head and pulled away again. Damn it, what was wrong?

“No, it’s not right yet. Nothing is.” She ran her hands through her hair, her motions jerky.

“What’s wrong?”

She shook her head again. “Nothing. I’m just a little tired. And stressed out over this. And I guess my parents, too. I’m sorry. I’m always like this before a show, it just seems to be a little compounded right now. The painting’s fine, but I don’t think it’s good enough for the exhibit.”

I put my hand over my heart and took a staggering step back. “Ouch. I’m not good enough for your show?”

Her eyes widened, and I wanted to reach out and tell her that I was only kidding, but given the way she’d blanched, I felt like I had hit a nerve, and I didn’t know how to make it better.

“Myra, I was only teasing you.”

“No, you’re right. This isn’t right for the show. I don’t even know what I’m doing here. I’ve done how many art shows now? Two or three like this at least. Why would anyone want to come and look at these paintings? They’re not good enough. They’re not like your friend on the other side of town.”

“Lincoln has his style, and it’s not in competition with yours. You get along with him.”

“I know how well Lincoln does. He’s brilliant. And I’m nowhere near his level.”

“Is this nerves about the show? Or is this something else?”

She started to pace, wringing her hands together.

“I don’t know. It’s just a lot right now. Everything seems to be happening at once, and I think I need to breathe.”

I froze, trying to catch up.

“Do you want to go for a drive? I haven’t had a headache in a while. I’m good for driving you around. We can go borrow Cross’s Jeep and take the top down, drive to the mountains. Whatever you want.”

She looked at me then, a mask on her face that I didn’t recognize. “No, I don’t need that. I don’t know what I need, Nate. I need some time.”

I swallowed hard, trying not to take her words as what they sounded like. A brush-off.

“You need time for the show? Or to go over what your parents are putting you through?”

“Maybe all of that? I don’t know. I’m so afraid for the shoe to drop. Because you know my parents are going to try something. They want what my grandmother gave me. Sometimes, I feel like it would be easier if I just gave it to them.”

I moved a step forward and took her hand. “We both know that’s not the right answer. The law is on your side. Your parents will drop the suit.”

She let out a laugh that didn’t hold any humor. “We both know that’s a lie. My parents are never going to stop until they get what they want. Look what they did to us. They made you believe I was some horrible person, and we both walked away because of it. They’re going to do something more. I know it. They’re going to try to hurt you or your family to get at me. And I don’t know what I’m going to do about it.”

I swallowed hard, trying to keep up.

“Everything is moving so fast. I haven’t even had time to grieve, and now I have to deal with the stupidity that is this suit. They’re contesting the will. They’re saying that I did horrible things to get my grandmother to give me everything. And I didn’t even want it. I only wanted her. I moved away from my parents and her because I couldn’t stand being near the people who raised me. But I ended up putting distance between myself and the one person in my family I thought was really mine.”

“She knew you loved her. And she loved you. She wrote about it in the will.”

“And all it’s doing is creating more rifts between my family and me. I’m just so tired, Nate. Between that and the show, it’s a lot.”

Something hovering beneath her words worried me, and I swallowed hard, afraid of what would happen if I turned over that stone.

“I’m here. You’re not alone. All of us are here for you. Why don’t we go back to the living room, get you some wine, and talk about it? Get everything out.” Was I talking too fast? Could she hear the fear in my voice?

“Nate. I don’t think it’s going to be enough. Don’t you see? Everything is happening so fast, and I can’t keep up. And I’m so afraid that if I make the wrong choice, make another mistake, I’m going to lose everything and everyone. My parents have done so much, and it’s hurt me. It breaks everybody in their path. I’m terrified if I take the wrong step, I’ll turn into them and it’ll hurt me, too.”

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