Page 53 of From Our First

The girls had offered to come with me. Even Dakota had said she would hand the reins to her cafe over to one of her staff members so she could be by my side. But I had told them I could do this on my own—that I needed to.

I wasn’t sure that any of them believed me. I wasn’t sure I believed myself.

However, I did not have a choice. I needed to walk through the doors in front of me and face my reality.

My grandmother was dead. And I hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye, nor had I been able to grieve. And now I had to deal with the death, the paperwork of that, and the stench of bureaucracy so I could face the future. I wasn’t comfortable with what I had to do, but I had told my family I would be here, and that meant I was. I would fulfill my promises, unlike anything they had ever done for me.

I knew I needed to stop thinking so negatively; it wasn’t good for my health. But that didn’t make this any easier. I took a deep breath and stepped to the doors, the automatic glass sliding out of my way as I did.

A young, blond woman with her hair neatly shorn sat at the front desk, a pleasant smile on her face.

“Hello, how may I help you?”

“My name is Myra West. I’m here to see Mr. Ongard.”

“Ah, yes. He’s waiting for you and the rest of your party in his office.”

I frowned and looked down at my watch. “I wasn’t aware that I was late. Sorry.”

“No, you’re early, the others were just a little earlier than you.” I saw the strain in her eyes at the mention ofthe others—namely my parents and whatever cousins were around—and I hoped that they hadn’t made this morning too hard on her already. I knew it was difficult enough as it was.

“If you’ll show me where to go…?” I asked her.

“Oh, of course. Right this way.”

I followed the woman down the hall, trying to keep my breath steady. As soon as I took my first step, I knew this was real. My grandmother would no longer call me. I wouldn’t see her again. She wouldn’t finally move out to Colorado to stay with me for the rest of her retirement. When my grandfather died, I had lost a part of myself. But I knew Grandma had lost more of herself. Regardless, she had survived a decade without him.

And now, I needed to survive without her.

“Here you are, I’m so sorry for your loss.”

I nodded at her and made my way through the door, my head held high. I would be the icy queen today. Not only to protect my heart from what was to come but also as armor against the people I did not want to see.

“It’s about time you got here,” Roland said, looking down at his phone.

“I wasn’t aware we were meeting so early.”

“You never did apologize for anything, did you?” my mother asked, sighing as she looked down at her watch.

“There’s no need for me to apologize. But I’m glad we’re all here so we can get through these next steps quickly.”

“You want to get this over with quickly?” my father asked. “Do you already know what’s about to be said?”

I shook my head, taking the only empty seat in the room. It was a smaller, ornate chair that was set apart from the others, and I couldn’t help but feel a little disconnected. There was a small sofa in the corner, as well, but no one had taken that.

I heard quick footsteps behind me, and I looked at the door. My eyes widened as Lacey walked through. Lacey was another of my cousins. She lived in Wyoming with her husband and three children. I liked her, though I didn’t see her often. Her parents, another aunt on my mother’s side, had disowned her long before my parents tried to do the same with me.

“I was afraid I was going to be late. Traffic on I-25 was worse than usual.”

She came forward as I stood up, and she kissed my cheek. “I’m so sorry. I know she was always the closest to you. I didn’t hear until…well, it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry.”

Tears pricked my eyes, and it felt odd to have what I considered almost an ally in this. I had forgotten Lacey, not because she was cruel or not worth remembering. She wasn’t a part of my life. Hadn’t been when we were children either. Her parents had moved out to New York when we were kids, and she had only visited occasionally to see our grandparents. When she got pregnant during college and married the love of her life, they moved out to Wyoming to be with his family. They now owned a ranch, and I knew they were doing relatively well. She lived so close to me, yet I hadn’t seen her in ages.

I needed to change that.

“Let’s talk after this,” I whispered, aware that everyone was staring.

“Yes, I’d like that.” Her eyes filled ever so slightly before she blinked the tears away, a small smile on her face that was real.

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