Page 44 of From Our First

“We don’t have to,” he said before biting my lip and then kissing down my neck.

“Just this once,” I whispered.

“This is crazy,” he breathed.

“Shut up and kiss me.”

His lips claimed mine. This couldn’t be happening. This wasn’t real. It had to be a dream. Or maybe it was one last time, and then we could walk away. I didn’t know. I couldn’t think. I’d missed Nate so damn much.

It really was as if no time had passed. This was the man I had married, the person I’d wanted to be with for the rest of my life. So, when he kissed me harder and tugged on my hair, I pulled on his shirt. He shifted so he could help me strip his torso, and then my hands were on his bare flesh, the heat of him searing my palms.

“When did you get so big?” I asked against his lips and felt him smile.

“I have a joke for that,” he whispered, then issued a deep chuckle that rumbled through me.

“You have so much muscle now. You weren’t scrawny before, but…wow.”

“I was a boy before, Myra. Now, I’m a man. Is that fact going to be too much for you?”

“I don’t want to think. Don’t ask me questions.”

“Is this going to be another mistake?” he asked.

“If it is, it’s one I want to make.” I knew those words were probably a lie. This was idiotic. It wasn’t what I’d come here for. It would probably only make things worse. But I kissed him, and when he lifted me off my feet, I wrapped my legs around his waist, needing more.

“Just once,” I whispered.

“Once.”

He shoved my back against the wall, my skirt riding up to my hips. I arched into him, needing him, kissing him, forgetting the rest of the world.

This was the man I had loved, and it was everything. If we could pretend, then we could walk away… This could be goodbye. I kept rationalizing all of this to myself, but it made no sense. It didn’t need to. I pulled at his pants, and he undid his belt buckle and pushed his jeans down to his knees. He slid his hands between my thighs, and I moaned, his fingers spearing me.

“Already wet for me, baby.”

“Shut up.”

“Oh, so you’re feisty now?”

“I was always this way.” I bit his lip, and he’d growled, capturing my lips again as he moved those two fingers. I arched, my body shaking as his thumb pressed against my clit, his fingers curling to rub the tangle of nerves inside me.

He pumped in and out, his hands working hard enough to make me shake. I reached between us, trying to touch him, but it was too much. I came on his hand, his name a rasp on my lips as my legs shook. And then his fingers slid out, and I could finally grasp him. He was hard and thick, bigger than I remembered.

“You didn’t grow here, did you?”

He laughed. “No, still the same size. Damn, you’re so fucking beautiful, Myra. I always loved your curves, but I swear to God, I could lick you up.”

“Not now. I can’t wait, Nathan.” I didn’t say the wordlater. Didn’t say “next time.” Because this could be the only time. I needed to languish in this mistake and not think about the future. And so, I gripped him and positioned him at my entrance. He met my gaze before slamming home. I gasped, both of us freezing at the riot of sensations. Nate was warm and so wide that I had to stretch to accommodate him.

And yet, this felt familiar. As if we had done it a thousand times before with no time in between. I could barely catch my breath before he pulled out of me and then pressed back in.

I met him thrust for thrust, my lips on his, my skirt moving farther up my body as he cupped my ass and spread me. He pounded me against the wall, and I scraped my fingernails down his back, leaving gouges. I couldn’t help it. I needed him.

When I came again, I bit his shoulder, and he threw back his head and shouted my name, filling me as he came, as well.

In the aftermath, the coolness of the air-conditioned room chilled my body, and my sweat-slick skin grew clammy. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t do anything. Instead, I froze against the wall, my body still holding onto him, his cock still hard inside me, and I tried to take a deep breath.

“Myra,” he whispered.

---