Page 39 of From Our First

I sighed at Macon’s words but then began. “Myra went to my college for a little bit. We met then and fell in love. We got married over spring break.” I explained about the coffee and our relationship and how we planned to tell everyone when we got back but wanted to keep it to ourselves for a bit.

In retrospect, it was idiotic. And we were fooling ourselves thinking that we could ever make it work without talking to our families. But we had been young, stupid, and had liked the secret at the time.

“And you knew?” Prior asked, turning towards Arden. She nodded.

“He’s my twin. Of course, I knew.” She paused. “And I caught Myra with her engagement ring.”

“Holy shit,” Macon whispered.

“But that’s not even the worst part,” I added.

“The fact that you got married and divorced without telling us isn’t the worst part? You’re going to need to explain,” Cross said.

“I fucked up.”

“Did you cheat on her?” Macon growled.

I shook my head. “Maybe it would have been easier if I had.”

The others cursed, and I pressed my lips together, trying to hold back the pain and the anger. All the things that had been whirling inside me for years.

“You never told me why,” Arden said. “You only said it didn’t work out, and then you pushed me away. You finished school, and then the accident happened, and I did my best to ignore it all. But you need to tell us more. Please, Nate. Talk to us.”

I nodded at my twin’s words and told them about Myra’s parents, and the pictures, and the fact that I had pushed her away. I told them how I now knew I had been wrong—oh so fucking wrong. And, throughout the story, they all stayed silent.

I was grateful for that.

I started to pace, as did Prior. Macon sat stoically, as did Cross. Arden wiped a tear from her face, and I hated that she felt bad about any of it.

“I should have told you. Long before this. But it hurt so fucking much. I felt as if I had tried to make my first adult decision and messed up to the point where I couldn’t even trust myself. I was hurt, angry, and I pushed everyone away because of it. And then, like Arden said, by the time I came out of my stupor, the accident happened, and we had a whole other slew of things to worry about.”

“We always have things when it comes to us,” Cross said but held up his hand when I tried to explain. “But, honestly, I don’t blame you for not telling us.” I blinked at him, surprised.

“You don’t?” Prior asked.

“No. We have all had our heads up our asses at one time or another. You know he would have told us eventually if things had worked out. But they didn’t. And, yes, you fucked up. I don’t know how I feel about the idea that you had this whole secret that you kept from us. But how were you supposed to bring it up?”

“I don’t know. I’m not doing a very decent job of itnow.”

“You’re doing better than you give yourself credit for,” Macon said softly. “I don’t know what I would have done if I’d found out the person I loved cheated on me. I can see why you wanted to hide it. But now that you know it was a lie, what are you going to do about it?” Macon asked.

“That’s my question, too,” Arden added. “Myra’s in our lives, Nate. She’s always going to be there. And you’re our brother. You’re not going anywhere. So, what are you going to do?” she asked.

“I have no idea. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“Did you apologize?” Cross asked.

“I tried, but we were also trying to push her parents out and deal with her fucking cousin at the same time.”

“They sound like horrible people,” Prior said.

“They are. Only I didn’t realize how evil they were until it was too late.”

Arden shook her head. “You need to apologize again.”

“I know,” I agreed.

“No, we need you to do the best groveling you can. You can talk to Liam and the guys in this room. Because I know they’ve all groveled.”

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