Page 26 of From Our First

Betrayal stung, and I felt like I was going to throw up. But I knew somewhere deep down that I had been making a mistake when I had said, “I do.” When I told her that I wanted to marry her. We had been drunk on love or lust, and things had moved far too quickly.

It was all a mistake.

“You need to go now,” I said.

“Are you going to do the right thing, Nate?” her mother asked.

“Please, just go,” I said.

They stared at me for a long while before they finally left, leaving me sitting there wondering what the hell had happened. They’d taken the photos, and I felt like nothing was right. As if nothing were real.

How the hell had this happened?

I knew we had moved too fast, that we needed to take a few steps back and figure out who we were together. But together clearly wasn’t something she wanted. Maybe it wasn’t something she had ever wanted.

“But why did she say yes, then?” I asked.

That bracelet. The one I had given her.

She’d worn it in that photo with another man.

“Nathan?” Myra asked from the doorway. “I rang the doorbell, but you didn’t answer. And the door was open so I came in. Are you okay? What’s wrong?” She ran to me, kneeling at my feet, and I looked down at the ring on her finger, the band on mine, the one that I only wore when nobody was home because I wasn’t ready to tell my parents that I had gotten married.

I wasn’t ready to be married. If I had to lie about it, I knew I wasn’t ready. And Myra hadn’t been either.

“You need to go,” I said, the words out of my mouth before I realized I was even saying them.

“What?” Myra asked. “What’s wrong? Is it your dad? Your mom? Oh my God, did you tell them?”

“No, I didn’t. I didn’t do anything.” I looked down at the ring on my finger, then slid it off and stared at it on my palm. “But it seems you’ve been doing things.”

I heard her sharp intake of breath, and knew it had to be the truth. She had to know that she was caught.

My heart lurched, and I felt as if I were falling.

I loved her. But I didn’t know her. Not really. So, maybe I only loved the idea of her.

“I saw the photos,” I whispered.

“What?”

“You cheated on me. I know you did. You cheated. I don’t even know you.”

She scrambled to her feet, her head shaking as tears filled her eyes. She always cried when she got angry, but maybe that was a lie, too. Perhaps she was simply a great actress.

“Where are you getting this? Pictures? I’ve only been with you since we met. It’s always only been you. I marriedyou.”

I let out a bark of laughter. “Yeah, you married me. In Vegas. Cliché much? It’s over, Myra. Take this.” I tossed the ring at her, and she caught it, fumbling a bit. “Just go. I’m done.”

“Are you kidding me?” she asked. “You’re saying it’s over? Because of some pictures I haven’t seen? And you think I cheated? You know me, Nathan. I would never cheat on you. Where are you getting this?”

“I saw the proof. I know who you are now. I should have known given how everything moved so fast, and you were so readily into it. What else have you been lying about? No, you know what? I don’t care. We made a mistake, and we both knew it. Neither of us told anyone in our lives about the marriage, and yet we were supposed to be husband and wife? No, fuck that. You’re a cheater...you cheated on me. You broke my trust. I can’t believe anything you say. You need to go.”

Her face blanched, and I felt like I might throw up.

She stopped crying and looked at me, blinking. “I don’t know what you saw, and I don’t know what you think you know. But I would never do that.”

“I saw the truth. I don’t know you, Myra. I don’t think I ever did.”

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