Page 83 of From Our First

“I’ll try. But, Jesus, I’m never going to get the sight of Myra out of my mind. She lost so much blood, Cross.”

“And she survived. You got there in time.” My brother paused. “How did you know to be there?”

I shook my head and regretted the movement again. “I was there to apologize and to try to fix the shit we were going through. There was a car in the driveway, and no one answered the doorbell, so I went around the side of the house and hoped the studio door was unlocked.”

“Good timing,” Cross muttered.

“I heard her talking, even though it was mumbled. I think she was trying to convince him to call the ambulance.”

“Maybe he would have, but we don’t know for sure. Regardless, you saved her.”

“She saved me.”

“So, what are you going to do?” Cross asked after a moment, and I swallowed hard.

“She needs time to heal. And the girls need to be with her.”

“You’re not going to back out, are you?” Cross’s voice went stony.

“No. I’ll go to her. But she needs to heal,” I repeated.

“So do you. You can do that together.”

“She was so scared, Cross. I don’t want to hurt her any more.”

Cross gave me a look as if he understood, but I wasn’t sure I did.

Instead, I closed my eyes and tried to rest. I knew that no matter what happened the next time I saw her, I would never be able to get the sight of her bleeding out on the floor, unconscious in my arms, out of my mind.

It would haunt my nightmares until the end of time.

And I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to deal with that.

Chapter 21

Myra

I leanedagainst my pillows and wanted to crawl into a hole and sleep forever. That probably wasn’t the best thing to think, but everything hurt. I wanted to go home, feel better, and find a way to work through everything going through my mind.

Paris had finally left, and I had a moment to myself, even though I knew the nurses would likely walk in at any moment.

I wanted to see Nate. And yet, I didn’t want to see him. I was so afraid of what I should say to him, and it worried me. I’d fought for my life, but I’d gotten hurt in the process.

I likely wouldn’t be here right now if it weren’t for him, but he wouldn’t be in the hospital a few doors down from me if it weren’t for me. I needed to find him and tell him that I loved him. To say I was sorry. But I didn’t know when the right time for that was.

The door opened, and I looked up, expecting a nurse. Instead, dread filled my belly. My father walked in, then closed the door firmly behind him as he looked at me. I’d never quite seen that expression on my father’s face before. He was pale, and there was fear in his gaze. And yet, I could barely see it.

He had never looked at me like this before. As if I were worth more than simply what I could do for him.

“Myra,” he said, his voice rough.

“I’m surprised they let you in,” I said, my voice icy.

He nodded, his face going slack a bit. “I deserve that. But I am your father. We share the same last name. They let me through because I’m family.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“I can go if you want me to, but I came to check on you.”