Page 45 of Shameless With Him

I shook my head in response.

“No. There was already the engagement party, and thank God we had nothing to do with that.”

Caleb grunted. “That was fun, but I’m glad we didn’t have to plan it.”

“True. There’s the bridal shower, of course, but I don’t think she’s making that co-ed.”

“Thank God.”

“After, there’s the wedding rehearsal, and then the ceremony and reception. And we’re not planning the honeymoon.”

“Again, I’m going to reiterate, thank God.”

I nodded. “There seems to be an endless amount of work involved for a wedding. Let alone the life that comes after.”

Caleb took a sip of his water and then set the glass down.

“There is. I figured if I ever got married, which you know is probably never going to happen, I would end up just doing a Justice of the Peace gig. Or maybe something in Dimitri’s backyard. He’s the one with the bigger yard,” he added.

I let that little nugget of information—him never getting married—slide right through me. Lots of guys said that. Heck, I said the same thing sometimes. Didn’t actually need to be true. And I didn’t need to let it gut me.

It was just a thing.

“You can make the wedding anything you want it to be. This is Lacey’s thing.”

“Yep. And I’m glad that it’s going to be over eventually.”

“Eventually,” I agreed. Though it didn’t seem like it would be over anytime soon.

“What are we doing here, Zoey?” Caleb asked, and I froze. I’d asked the question before, and there didn’t seem to be an answer. How dare he ask the same thing when I didn’t have answers? I had nothing except need and silly dreams when it came to him.

“Drinking water. And asking ourselves what we’re doing because we’re not actually talking about it at all?” I said the last part really fast and as a question, and Caleb just laughed, though I wasn’t sure there was much humor in it. We were really good about rambling about nothing important and ignoring the elephant in the room.

Namely, what we meant to each other and where this, whatever this was, could be headed.

“I don’t know what to say,” I said honestly.

“I don’t know what to say either. Other than that, I really want to kiss you again, even though I shouldn’t.”

My heart raced, and my palms went damp. “I guess we suck at the whole talking thing,” I said.

“We’re great at talking, and even about some important things, but we’re also really good about avoiding the talk.”

I was sitting on the couch next to Caleb, and he leaned forward to cup my face. His palms were broad, fingers callused, the skin of a man who knew how to use his hands, and I held back a shiver just thinking about exactly what he could do with them.

His eyes darkened, and I had a feeling he knew exactly what I was thinking about. “What do you want, Zoey?”

“I used to think I knew. Now, I’m not so sure anymore.” That was as honest as I could be.

He nodded as if that sentence made sense. “I think that’s my answer, too. Because this could be a mistake. You’re friends with my friends. Your sister’s marrying my friend. You’re practically sisters with Amelia.”

“But not you. I’m not your sister.”

Caleb let out a rough chuckle. “I’ve never once had sisterly thoughts about you, Zoey.”

I blinked at him, confused. That couldn’t be true. Not in all of our lives. “Never once? Not at the beach when you saved me? And not when you saved me that other time?” His eyes darkened, and I regretted bringing it up. But I couldn’t help it. Caleb was intertwined in so many key and small moments in my life, that I couldn’t help but remember the little ones as well as the big stuff that had changed everything.

“I couldn’t beat the shit out of that wave for coming at you, but I still want to go back and castrate the fucker who tried to get you into his car.”

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