Page 40 of Shameless With Him

“Pregnant women aren’t supposed to have soft cheeses?”

“Nope. They’re allowed to have hard cheeses and some processed soft cheeses. I have a whole list, it’s printed out on the fridge, and we almost put it on the invitation, but I figured that would be too weird.”

“Weirder than the fact that you have like eighteen different types of cheese available, including dips and spreads?”

“I don’t judge you. You don’t get to judge me.”

“I really have no idea where to start with the judging.”

Dimitri grinned and laughed. “Anyway, we made sure that nobody brought any of the incorrect types. They’re all on the list of banned contraband substances.”

That made me laugh. “So, if anyone hides the brie within the cocaine, I know that they’re on the wrong side of the law?”

“You mock me, but she’s been craving soft cheeses, to the point that I’m afraid she’s going to sleepwalk right out one day and find herself some.”

I just shook my head, my stomach hurting from laughing so hard. “Thank you for getting my mind off what the hell is going on with me because you two are ridiculous.”

Dimitri grinned, his eyes wide and happier than I’d ever seen them in my life. “Yeah, I’m happy. I’m going to be a dad, Caleb. I still can’t fucking believe it.”

I shook my head and then leaned down to pet Captain’s head as the golden retriever came up to us. Dimitri knelt by the older dog and hugged him close, slowly running his hands down the golden retriever’s back.

“You know, you pretty much raised me and Amelia, and Devin a little bit, too. And between us and Captain, you’ve probably got this dad thing down.”

“I might’ve started with piddle pads for Captain, but I didn’t start with diapers with you three. It’s all new, and it’s a little daunting.”

“But Thea’s sisters have gone through this before. Same with her brother, right?” I asked.

“So have all of her cousins. I swear that family breeds more than rabbits do.” He mumbled the words, considering that all the Montgomerys had keen ears and were surrounding us at the time.

“It’s amazing how much they all look alike, too,” I mumbled.

“Don’t say shit like that. They can hurt us. Did you see that one over there? He’s like six-five and built. He could probably break us with his pinky.”

“And I hear that one is actually married into the family,” Zoey said as she came up to my side. I froze, unaware that she had been so close. Which was weird, because all I could do was notice where she was lately.

She handed me a water, and I raised a brow.

“I got one for Amelia, but Tucker had already gotten one, so then I was standing there with two glasses. I figured I’d give it to you since your hands were empty.”

I looked down at her and smiled. “Thanks.”

“No problem. And, really, I feel like I can get stepped on at any moment with all these giants around here.”

Dimitri laughed. “There’s a few people shorter than you.”

“Do you mean the children?” she asked, a mock grimace on her face.

“Well, I don’t know about that ten-year-old, I think they are taller than you,” I said.

“I am not that short. There are shorter people here. Adults. I’m average height.”

“Average for humans, not Montgomerys,” I said and winced when a Montgomery, one I didn’t actually know, punched me in the arm on their way to one of the cheese spreads.

Oneof the cheese spreads.

Because, of course, there were like five of them around the house.

“And on that note, I’m going to check on my wife. They’re starting the games soon.”

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