Page 84 of Breathless With Her

I wasn’t a broken shell of the person I once was. Because I hadn’t loved him, right?

I had pushed him away because I hadn’t wanted to fall in love. I wasn’t hurting right now. I couldn’t be. Because if I were, that meant I had loved him.

I broke the wooden spoon against my counter and looked down at my hands.

“You okay over there?” Jenn asked, then she moaned. “Oh my God, is this actual vanilla bean?”

“I’m fine.” I quickly cleaned up my mess, cursing myself. The spoon had been old and brittle anyway. Anyone could have broken it. Not just me. I was fine.

Maybe I should tattoo that right on my forehead. Or my ass. Because that’s what I was. A big, fat ass.

“Do you need some time alone with your frosting? I mean, I can go walk into the back, and you can do whatever you need to.”

“That’s gross. But…maybe. Me alone with my frosting. Come here, big boy.” She stuck her finger into her mouth and moaned.

“You’re being gross,” I said, laughing. It wasn’t a real laugh, but it was warmer than my others. See? Progress. I couldn’t wallow, I only had myself to blame.

“What?” she said, licking her finger.

“I gave you a spoon. If somebody walks in while you’re doing that, I’ll somehow end up in trouble with the health department or something.

“You can’t. I’m in a place where people taste cakes. It’s where I’m allowed to eat cake right off my fingers. Dear God, cake. And this is just the frosting.”

“You really do have a love affair with frosting, don’t you?”

“You’re going to put this inside the cupcakes you’re making me for my baby girls, right? Oh, yes, this inside the strawberry cupcakes with extra cream cheese frosting on top, mmm. I need some time alone.”

“Yeah, maybe you do. And maybe I shouldn’t be feeding that to your little girls if you’re going to go off and orgasm over a bowl of frosting.”

Of course, fate would let the door open at that moment, the little bell tinkling. I groaned.

Thankfully, it was just Zoey.

“Well, hey there, who’s orgasming over frosting now?” she said, skipping in.

“Hey there, Zoey. It’s me. And I would let you have some, but this frosting is mine. All mine. Mine, mine, mine,” she sang as she ate more frosting. I just shook my head.

“You’re going to get diabetes.”

“No, I won’t. You gave me such a minuscule amount of frosting. I’m just going to take my time with it. Softly. Slowly. Achingly eating it bite by bite.”

I met Zoey’s gaze, and she just widened her eyes. “How long has she been alone with the frosting?” Zoey asked, keeping her voice casual.

“Not long enough,” Jenn said, moaning.

I just laughed, shaking my head. “I think she’s finally lost her mind.”

“Maybe. But it’s fine. Because all I need is this bowl of frosting.”

“How many times do you think she’s going to use that word today?” I asked, moving out of the way so Zoey could come back with her box of goodies for the wedding prep.

“Well, you do technically live in this bakery these days. So, probably a lot.”

“I don’t live here,” I said, holding back my wince. Well, I sort of did. I’d worked more hours than I ever had before, not doing very good at the whole balance thing. What was the point?

Not only was I dealing with the fact that I would probably die alone, Nicholas had sent me a wedding invitation.

“So, did you answer yet?” Zoey asked. It was like she knew what I had been thinking about.

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