Page 80 of Breathless With Her

I looked up at him, tears prickling the backs of my eyes. And then he hugged me. “Sometimes, we have to do what we have to in order to protect ourselves and then we realize later that we should have seen what was in front of us the whole time.” He whispered the words, but I knew that everyone had heard.

People were looking at me. I didn’t know what to say to them. How could I apologize for hurting their brother? For hurting Devin, especially now that he was even worse off.

I wasn’t naïve enough to think that the world revolved around me and that he had gotten hurt because of me. At least, physically. Emotionally?

Yeah, I was that bitch.

“What happened?” I whispered.

“He went to save a dog from getting hit by a car and got hit himself,” Amelia said, her voice icy.

Amelia needed someone to be angry at, and you couldn’t be angry at a dog, so it seemed I was the target. That was fine. I deserved it.

“He’s going to be fine, though,” Dimitri said. “We just need to remember that.” He rubbed my shoulder, and then Thea came closer and gave me a hug, too.

“As someone who’s had to deal with hospital visits before with family members, it helps to pace and cry and just talk it out.”

I wanted to ask her what she meant by that, but this wasn’t the time or place. Dimitri and Thea shared a look, and I pulled away slightly, folding my arms over my chest.

Caleb was there then, putting his hands on my shoulders, and I looked up, wide-eyed.

“Fix this.”

I blinked. “I’m not a doctor.” And there was another stupid thing said.

“You know what I mean. Fix it.”

“I want to. I just don’t know how.”

“You will,” Amelia said from the other side of the room. “But he has to be okay first. That damn dog.”

“You know it wasn’t the dog’s fault, babe,” Tobey said, kissing the top of her head.

I just looked between them all and blinked away tears.

Devin had been hit by a car.

It didn’t even seem real. We all stood there, taking our turns pacing or sitting down or just talking to one another. Most of them gave me space, but nobody really gave me the cold shoulder except for that instant when I first walked in. They needed a target to be angry at, and I was fine being that in the moment.

After all, I blamed myself more than they did.

It seemed like hours, but eventually, a man in scrubs walked through the double doors, looking exhausted but not defeated.

That had to count for something.

I stood frozen, so afraid to hear what he had to say. What we could lose.

Please be okay, Devin.

You have to be okay.

“I’m looking for the family of Devin Carr.”

Dimitri cleared his throat and stepped forward. Thea’s hand was in his, and the rest of the family moved closer. Tucker, Zoey, and I stood in the back, Tucker putting his arms around each of us as if we were our own little unit in the family of Carrs. Yes, Tobey was with Amelia, but that was fine. Everybody had someone.

Devin had to be okay.

“We’re it. All of us.”

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