Page 52 of Breathless With Her

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I was exhausted deep downto my bones. But I was exhilarated at the same time. It had been two weeks since my shop ended up underwater. It was scary to think that I could have lost everything—and had lost some because of the rain. And a shoddy roof that shouldn’t have been that shoddy.

The place had been inspected just this year, in fact, but they had either missed something, or the rain and wind had hit it just right.

The insurance adjuster hadn’t been sure, but either way, I had gotten my money. I paid an expensive premium for a reason. Thankfully, I wasn’t going to lose my entire life savings because of the damage.

Before, I likely would have freaked out more than I did. And I would have tried to lean on Nicholas. And he wouldn’t have let me. He would’ve been focused on trying to find a job, trying to build a new business, trying to do something with him as the focus.

I hadn’t realized until it was far too late how insular and selfish he actually was.

Everything I accomplished, I did on my own. Without him. Without his help. That was why my name had been on the deed, and he hadn’t been part of it. He hadn’t believed I could do it at all. He hadn’t wanted us to spend any money on me, just him.

I hadn’t realized that at the time. I’d only thought he hadn’t wanted us to take the risks. Even though the entire way he operated was a risk.

But this wasn’t that life. I wasn’t with him. I never would be again.

And, thanks to my friends, especially Mrs. Murphy, I was doing okay. The damage hadn’t been as bad as I thought, and the faulty refrigerator was being replaced. That meant I would soon be able to move back into my shop. In fact, they were talking about letting me go tomorrow. That’s how fast everybody had worked for me. They were amazing. I honestly could not believe how many people cared about me now.

Especially Devin.

He was only supposed to be a distraction. Just fun.

But I was leaning on him. Relying on him. And it was scary.

Because what if he left? What if he decided that this was too much, just like Nicholas.

Just like my dad.

I shook my head, pushing those thoughts away. It wouldn’t be good of me to dwell on them. Just because I was afraid of what might happen didn’t mean it actually would.

After all, Devin and I had been very careful. We’d said we were just going to be casual. Sleeping with each other and going on dates when we could.

The fact that he was busy, and so was I, meant that we’d only seen each other a few times outside of him helping at the shop.

And that was fine.

I didn’t need anything more. Because if I got more, I would want it. I would start to rely on it.

And I had to realize that I could only depend on myself.

The fact that I was also relying on my friends—Amelia, Zoey, Mrs. Murphy—notwithstanding. They were friends. They were different.

My sister Jennifer was far too busy with her family, and I didn’t want to lean on her. I knew she would let me, but I wouldn’t do it.

And Devin? Yes, he was a friend. But it was all so murky, I had to be careful. As long as we were cautious, no one would get hurt.

“What do you think about this dress?” Jennifer asked, holding up a very tiny little black dress to her body.

I grinned and shook my head. “Yeah, just think about one of your baby girls in that dress.”

Jennifer raised her head and narrowed her eyes. “Excuse me? My babies arewayaway from wearing this type of dress.”

“Yeah, not quite sure your ass is going to fit in that.”

She flipped me off, and I just shook my head. “I’m kidding. Your ass is great. And even if your ass didn’t fit in it, who cares. You could still wear it. Wherever you want. You’re gorgeous, Jennifer.”

“Aw, you’re sweet. But, no, you’re right. I don’t think I can walk around the street with my ass hanging out. Literally. But maybe for at home with the hubby.”

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