Page 21 of Breathless With Her

“Erin—” I began, but she cut me off.

“Let’s do it. Just…will you tell me what time and what I should wear?”

The sense of relief flooding through me was a surprise, but I let out a breath and smiled.

I was going on a date with Erin. The person I told myself I shouldn’t pursue when I last saw her.

This was a good step. I couldn’t wait to see what would happen tonight.

Chapter 5

Erin

* * *

I staredat my reflection in the mirror and wondered if I remembered how to do this. I mean, there had to be a conscious memory or something of how this was done.

I swallowed hard and shook my head. No, I was pretty sure I would never actually remember. Because I hadn’t been on a first date since I was what? Fourteen? Or maybe even ten if I really put my mind to it. I had been with Nicholas for so long, the idea of dating made me want to throw up. Not because I still loved him. No, I didn’t think that was the case. It was hard to love something that wasn’t actually there to begin with.

Somehow, Nicholas had fallen out of love with me. Had started to resent me so much that I was no longer the person he wanted to be with. It was hard to find that love deep inside when there was nothing to claw onto.

No, I didn’t love Nicholas anymore. I was just learning how to love myself, frankly.

But I wasn’t going to think about that. Because this was not about Nicholas. This was about me. And Devin. And the fact that I was going on a date.

Maybe a bit of an unconventional date. Because Devin had asked me out that afternoon, and here I was, getting ready tonight. For a group date. At a party for one of his friends. An event where I could say I was just checking up on the cake, on my work, rather than actually going on a date with Devin.

But even though he had given me that excuse, that’s all it was. An excuse.

I was going on a first date with Devin Carr, and I had butterflies.

That flutter in the stomach that said that this was something new and exciting and different. It was thrilling and scary and made me want to throw up and yet dance at the same time.

Well, maybe not exactly at the same time.

Wasn’t that just a picture?

I pulled my blond hair back from my face. I wondered if I should just wear it up and then let it fall down in its odd waves that did their own thing if I didn’t straighten the strands.

I hadn’t wanted to wash it again since I had just done it that morning, so that meant dry shampoo, maybe a curl or two, and a prayer.

I really wasn’t good at this dating thing. I think I was an actual virgin at it.

That made me snort. I’d been married to Nicholas for far too long, and with him for even longer. There was nothing virginal about me. Other than the fact that I had only slept with one guy in my life.

I let my hair fall and put my hands under my face.

Was I going to sleep with Devin tonight? No, it wasn’t even a real date. It was almost a work outing. Okay, it wasn’t that. But there would be tons of his friends, people I didn’t know, all celebrating the fortieth birthday of a man I had made a cake for.

There was no way that I was going to sleep with Devin Carr after that.

Unless I wanted to.

Unlesshewanted to.

Did he want to?

I shook my head and let my hands fall from my face, then moved them around to my temples.

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