Page 67 of Breathless With Her

“Wrong daughter, Frank.”

I couldn’t believe I could actually speak just then, but nothing else came out. He blinked again. I didn’t know if he was going to say or do anything else. So I turned around and walked away as quickly as I could. I wasn’t going to run. I wasn’t going to scream and shout and ask him why he left us.

Because I didn’t have that in me.

He had created the perfect family, the ultimate life. My family—my mother, my sister, and I—hadn’t been enough.

That was clear as day.

I made it to my car, and he still didn’t say anything. I got in, set my purse on the passenger seat, turned on the engine, and pulled away.

I got as far as the Community Center part of the neighborhood before I pulled over, my body shaking.

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t do anything.

He hadn’t said anything. Hadn’t even looked at me.

My head hurt, and so did my heart. Because I knew I needed to get home, I needed to be safe, I picked up my phone and called without thinking. Because I knew he would come for me. At least, for now. Until everything changed.

“Hey, babe, what’s up?” Devin said, his voice so soothing, I didn’t want him to hang up. Because what happened when he walked away? Who would I be then?

“I need you,” I said softly. Breaking my rules. The ones that had kept me safe for so long. No, that was a lie. I wasn’t really that safe, was I?

“Where are you?”

I told him, and he said he’d be right there for me. Though it was probably going to take an hour since I wasn’t anywhere near home.

I just sat there and looked at my hands, wondering how it had come to this.

How could I rely on someone else?

I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t depend on anyone but myself. I couldn’t get hurt again. Because if I fell for this man, if I fell for Devin, I’d always be worried. Worried whether I could pick myself back up again if things fell apart.

I had fallen once, then had been left by my father.

Fallen again, then left by Nicholas.

I wasn’t sure I could do it with Devin.

I wasn’t sure I could remain whole if he left me.

I wasn’t sure I could remain whole at all.

I was afraid. So afraid that if I let myself love him, there wouldn’t be anything left of me when he left.

Because they always left.

That was the one thing I knew.

They always left me behind.

I needed to push Devin away before he hurt me. It was the only way. Even if it broke me. Because I couldn’t hurt him either. I couldn’t let him fall and end up broken.

I cared about him too much for that.

So, I’d have to do it first.

I’d have to be the one who ran.

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