Page 54 of Breathless With Her

“Everything’s fine, Jenn.”

“I know you say that, but I’m worried about you. If you keep telling yourself it’s just friends with benefits or whatever title you’re using, things implode. They roll into one thing or another, and if you’re not open to that, you’re going to get hurt.”

“No, I’m going to get hurt if I don’t set those boundaries. I’m fine. I’m having fun. So is he. And it’s good to just let loose once in a while.”

“And yet you’re letting him help you with work?”

I shook my head. “Maybe. But that’s because we’re friends first.”

She studied my face. I didn’t know what she saw there, but she turned away and looked back in her closet. “Okay. I love you. And I trust you. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

I sighed and then got up so I could wrap my arms around her from behind. I leaned my head against her back and blew out a breath. “I don’t want to get hurt either. That’s why I’m being careful.”

“You can be careful all you want, but sometimes, you can’t help it. You know what we grew up with.”

And that was the perfect segue into why I was over there for the day. I just hoped she didn’t hate me for it. Considering we were already at odds when it came to Devin and me, this would probably end badly.

“I have something to tell you,” I said, wincing when she stiffened.

“Well, that change in subject doesn’t bode well.”

She turned in my hold and pulled away, folding her arms over her chest.

She’d piled her hair on the top of her head, and she didn’t wear a stitch of makeup. I knew she worked hard on her skin and had a nice, wide array of skincare products that I tried to pilfer every once in a while. She was gorgeous, happy, and living her best life.

I really didn’t want to ruin it.

But I was missing something. And I needed to find it.

I just hoped that I didn’t break us both in the end.

“I hired someone.”

“Well, considering we were just talking about you getting Devin’s dick, I guess you didn’t hire a gigolo.”

That made me smile. “No. But I did hire someone to find Dad.”

Her eyes widened, and then she shook her head, her jaw tightening.

Our dad left us when we were young. And our mom had worked so many jobs trying to keep our heads afloat that she had lost part of herself. I remembered going hungry, I remembered smiling and laughing like it was Christmas when we actually had a whole can of tuna for dinner.

I remembered living out of our car for one semester of school, and the looks the other parents gave my mom. Looks of pity and scorn, as if it were my mother’s fault that she only had a high school education. Our dad had been the one providing for us, and then he skipped town with all of our savings.

He had taken Mom’s identification, even our birth certificates.

And it had cost money to get those things back. Money we didn’t have. We lived on government sponsorships and programs. But that money had dried up quickly. Even through all of that, we’d had a roof over our heads. Sure, the roof had been a car roof for a semester, but other than that, we always had running water and a place to sleep.

We had been safe, at least as much as we could be.

And we knew our mother loved us.

But she was always distant. Jennifer and I had grown closer over those years, even with our age gap.

And then, as soon as she could, our mother left us. I wasn’t even old enough to be called an adult yet when she left. But Jennifer had been able to take care of me, and Mom had run off to a commune. One where she could just be free and the woman she needed to be.

I hadn’t known that type of woman was inside her the entire time. One who could leave us just so she could find herself and be who she needed to be.

As an adult, I understood that you neededmetime, had to be able to find moments to just breathe, and figure out who you were.

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