Page 43 of Fallen Ink

And look where it had gotten her. Elbow-deep in a toilet with dust and dirt between her boobs. This was not the life she’d signed up for, but it seemed it was the only life fate deemed her worthy of.

She used the back of her arm—the only part not covered in dirt or cleaning products at the moment—to wipe her face so she could see properly. Mace hadn’t done this to her, their circumstances had. And she kept reminding herself of that because he was her best friend, damn it, and had been the best lover she’d ever had. She’d thought maybe they would be able to make a go of it. It had felt right when it was the three of them in his house, making dinner and laughing at movies. She’d thought she and Daisy were getting along great, and though she knew she never wanted to replace Daisy’s mother, she’d thought they had begun to form their own kind of bond on top of the small one they already had. She’d been in Daisy’s life since the beginning and now she was afraid she might lose what she had.

She was already losing what she had with Mace, breath by breath, day by day.

She set down the toilet brush and sucked in her lip.

How had she let this happen? Had she truly been so hard-up for sex, for feelings, that she’d risked everything she had with him? Because that’s what it felt like. That she’d thought she was so damn smart that she wouldn’t hurt what they had, even though she’d been scared all the time.

But even though he’d broken a part of her, she knew she wouldn’t shatter. She hadn’t done so when everything happened at her shop, had she? She’d faltered, sure, but anyone would have with all the crap piling on.

But she hadn’t shattered.

And she wouldn’t break now, even though everything inside her was ready to do so. She’d been strong in front of Mace. Had been honest with him. She knew he was scared of hurting Daisy and had to be pissed as hell for what Jeaniene had done. What Adrienne was not happy about, though, was the fact that she had a feeling he was taking his hurt and confusion out on her. Oh, he might not know he was doing it, but that didn’t change the result, did it?

He was so afraid of what might happen to his daughter that he was pushing away anything that could possibly disrupt her well-being even without intending to. And while Adrienne understood—she truly did—she was just so damn angry that he gave up without a fight. She hadn’t, though. She might have walked out of his house the day before because she needed to break down in private, but she’d left him with a promise. Once he got his head out of his ass, she’d be there to watch him grovel.

Not that she needed a big grovel. She just needed her best friend back, damn it.

She sniffed another sob, annoyed with herself. What she really needed was a shower and clothes that didn’t have bleach stains on them. Of course, that meant dirtying up one of her newly pristine showers, and she wasn’t sure she really wanted to do that right then. That was the problem with doing a deep clean. It got you filthy in the process, and then you didn’t want to wash off your grime because you didn’t want to dirty the tile.

She was officially a nutcase, and probably needed a glass of wine to make herself feel better. Then she’d call her sisters so she could vent and try to figure out the next steps. Because it wasn’t like she was out of Mace’s life altogether. He might have said he wanted them to be just friends, but she wasn’t so sure that could happen now. However, the two of them worked together, and there was no avoiding him.

And she didn’t want to avoid him.

She just wanted him to get his act together so they could figure out what they really wanted rather than what they thought they needed to want.

And that was enough of that line of thoughts. Annoyed with herself once again, she put her cleaning supplies away and finished her list of which ones she needed to replenish since this particular emotional cleaning-fest had depleted most of her stock. Then she preheated her oven so she could make a batch of cookies as soon as she took a shower. Might as well throw flour around her newly sanitized kitchen before she called her sisters and begged them to come over.

Thea and Roxie were her rocks, same as Shep. But she wasn’t about to invite her brother over since he’d probably go over to Mace’s and punch him or something along those lines. She loved her brother, but he tended to act like a big brother who growled at anyone who dared to hurt his precious baby sisters.

Dating or marrying into the Montgomery clan wasn’t easy, and so far, only Shea and Carter had figured it out. In the back of her mind, she’d thought maybe Mace would be one of the lucky few to pass the Montgomery family entrance test, but perhaps she’d been wrong. Maybe they were better off as friends, and as soon as she licked her wounds, she’d figure that out. At least, she hoped.

Thoughts of Mace and what she might’ve lost kept spiraling in her mind, but she did her best not to let those thoughts wander or fester because if she repressed it too much, she’d end up paying for it later. She was never one to hide her feelings when it came to most things in her life. That while she had tried to be open with Mace, she’d also been falling in love with him without meaning to, told her that those feelings might have been the most important of all. She wasn’t going to give up on him, but she also wasn’t going to stand there and let herself be hurt. So whatever came next, it was his turn. His choice. But she wouldn’t stand by and let herself be hurt as she waited for an absolution that may never come.

Knowing that she needed to just breathe and let her thoughts wander some more, she set aside the butter sticks to soften and headed into her master bathroom so she could take a quick shower. Of course, she couldn’t help but look at where she’d first kissed Mace and where he’d taken her on top of the counter. Her toes curled even as her heart ached, remembering how careful he had been. Mace was always cautious, and perhaps that was their downfall. Because for all of their talk of risk, falling in love and finding a future wasn’t safe. Having those feelings wrapped around you, knowing that you could perhaps find safety with another wasn’t without risk.

Adrienne had just stripped off her shirt when her phone buzzed on the bathroom counter. Frowning because she recognized the name on the screen and wondered why Mace’s sister Violet would be calling her, she answered while standing in her bra and sweatpants in her bathroom. She was still covered in gunk and dirt, but at least she had the smell of bleach away from her face because she had spilled a large drop on her shoulder earlier.

“Hey, Violet? How are you?” She did her best to make her voice sound normal and as if she hadn’t been crying most of the day off and on. Like she wasn’t desperately in love with Violet’s brother even though he had just pushed her away because his ex-girlfriend was a horrible person who apparently only cared about herself.

“Thank God you answered, Adrienne. I called Sienna, and she didn’t. Then I called my parents and remembered at the last moment that they were out of town for the weekend. And I can’t get ahold of Mace. But he said that might be the case since he was in his lawyer’s office all day.”

Adrienne straightened, her pulse racing. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is it Daisy?” She didn’t know if Violet was watching the little girl today, but that was the first thing that came to mind.

“I’m watching Daisy, and a migraine came out of nowhere. It would’ve been fine, and I would’ve just dealt with it, except Daisy is running a high fever, and I think she needs to go to the doctor because I can’t get it down. But I also can’t drive right now because I can barely keep my eyes open with the lights on and I feel like throwing up. I have migraine medicine for myself, and I can just ride it out, but I really need someone to take Daisy to the doctor. Can you help?”

Adrienne was already stripping off the rest of her clothes and running into her bedroom so she could put on fresh ones. She may be sweaty and dirty, but at least she’d have on cleaner clothes when she went to pick up Daisy.

“Where are you?” She knew Violet and Sienna lived up in Denver, and though the roads weren’t bad, it wouldn’t be an easy drive up there.

“I’m at Mace’s. I can try to make it work. I just don’t want to run us off the road because I can’t see.”

“I’m on my way. Did you call Daisy’s doctor? Or am I heading to the ER?”

“You’re a lifesaver. I already called her doctor, and he’s expecting her as soon as you can get there. I’m so sorry I can’t do it myself, but I really can’t drive. This migraine is kicking my ass, and I hate that I’m letting her down. I just really shouldn’t be on the roads.”

“It’s fine. I’ll be there in a few. Tell Daisy I’m coming to take care of her.”

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