Page 37 of Passion Restored

Liz shook her head, curling more and more into herself even with him fully inside of her. She needed to get out of there, get out of the room, out of his arms, and into her clothes so she could once again find that steely control she’d worn like armor for as many years as she could remember.

Owen Gallagher was breaking her, and she couldn’t let that happen.

When he slid his hand up and down her back, soothing her without words, she knew it was too much. She pulled away from him, letting him slide out of her, and she scrambled off the bed. She reached for her jeans, searching in vain for her underwear. They’d stripped each other in a hurry after dinner, and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to find them in this panic of hers.

“Shit,” Owen growled, reaching for the box of tissues on the nightstand. “Hold on a minute. What happened?” He cleaned himself off, disposing of the condom as he did so, and tried to reach for her.

She evaded his touch, her body shaking. “I need to go.”

“It’s your house, babe. Where do you need to go at ten at night?”

She slid on her jeans sans underwear. “I just need to go. God. Just let me be, Owen. The sex was great. Just get out, okay? I need…I need you to just go.”

She stood in her darkened bedroom with only a small lamp to illuminate them both, wearing jeans and nothing else, her eyes stinging, and her breath coming in harsh pants. She knew she looked like a woman on the edge, but she didn’t care. She just needed to breathe and not feel. If she felt…well, she knew what happened when she felt.

Owen had his hands up as if waving off a crazed bull. “Lizzie. Just sit down and tell me what happened. Did I hurt you? Was the anal play too much for you? Just tell me so I can fix it.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You didn’t hurt me.” Not really. “You can’t fix everything, Owen, even if that’s what you seem to love to do.”

He leaned back at the venom in her voice but didn’t move away. “I don’t know what I did to deserve that, but, yeah, I like fixing things. It’s what I do.”

“You can’t fix me.” To her horror, she felt a tear slide down her cheek, and she reached up to rub it away.

“I didn’t say I wanted to,” Owen said slowly as if talking her down from the ledge. Maybe she was already there and hadn’t realized it. Either way, he needed to go so she could compose herself again. “Let’s get you the rest of your clothes. Okay?”

“Why? Because you think I need a shield or something?” She did. “Just go. I can’t think with you here, and you just can’t be here right now. It was fun while it lasted, Owen. But I’m done. We both got off, so let’s call this was it is. Over.”

She knew she was being a bitch, but she couldn’t help the words coming from her mouth. She hated herself more and more with each word she spoke, but she couldn’t stop them once she’d begun. If she hurt him, if she made him leave, then maybe she wouldn’t hurt him worse later. Maybe she wouldn’t lie in pain, a thousand small cuts over her body as she wished for something that would never come.

Owen slid on his jeans and handed his shirt to her. “I can’t find yours right now.”

She took it greedily, awash in his scent as she tugged it on. That only made the tears fall faster. “Go.”

He shook his head, coming closer to her. She had nowhere to back up, not with the bed in the way, so she couldn’t stop him from gently putting his hands on her arms. “Honey. Liz. Talk to me. Why are you so scared? If I didn’t hurt you during sex, then I must have done something for you to push me away like this. Yeah, I know you haven’t wanted to open up with me at all since we started seeing each other, and I get that. We’re still new, but you’ve never outright told me to get out before. What happened, Liz? You can talk to me. I promise. No matter what happens between us in bed or in our relationship, I want us to be friends.”

She raised her chin. “We don’t have a relationship.”

The hurt in his eyes cut at her, and she wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. “Talk to me.”

She huffed out a breath. “Fine. You want to know me? Want to know why I’m all fucked up and can’t do anything right? Fine. Just take a seat and listen to the lonely and sad little life of Liz McKinley.”

“Liz.”

“I said sit.” She closed her eyes tightly, willing back the tears. “Please.”

The creak of the mattress made her open her eyes, and she let out a breath when she saw Owen sitting on the edge, his hand firmly clasped around hers. “Talk to me,” he repeated.

“I don’t do relationships.”

“I figured that,” Owen said slowly.

She shook her head. “I need to just get all of this out at once so don’t interrupt.”

He raised a brow but didn’t comment again on her rudeness. Hell, she was well and truly a bitch, and he hadn’t run yet. She didn’t deserve him.

And she wouldn’t have him.

“I don’t do relationships because they don’t work out. I watched my family fall apart, and it broke me. And when I finally thought I was happy and could have a relationship of my own once, everything got fucked up.”

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