“All right.”
“I told him because of the stipend. As soon as I found out he got it, I knew how crushed you would be.”
That wasn’t something I wanted to discuss. “I’m sure his application was very strong.” And while that may have been true, I still didn’t know why the hell he applied in the first place.
“It was, but I’m sure yours was too. So here’s the thing. I didn’t find out that he’d gotten the stipend until the night before last. You’ve known for a couple of days, haven’t you?”
“Yes.”
“You’ve been freezing him out since then, Hailey.”
“No, I haven’t. Everyone’s been busy.”
He sighed, trailing his fingers over the rough surface of the bench. “You’ve been down, don’t deny it. I had half a mind to don the French maid costume myself and show up at your room to cheer you up.”
That was an amusing image, but somehow, I wasn’t amused.
Theo continued on. “You’ve been different towards him.”
“I didn’t mean to,” I said, basically admitting that what he said was true. “But I kind of can’t help it. I needed that stipend so badly.”
“I know that. And Ian knows that. And here’s what makes this so hard.”
“What?”
“When I told him that you were a student and that you had applied too, he was devastated. Yesterday morning, he marched straight into the admin office, determined to give up the stipend so you would get it. Now wait,” he cautioned, holding up a hand. “Wait, just hear me out. For god’s sake, don’t get your hopes up.”
What did he mean? My hopes were already rising. I couldn’t believe Ian had done that for me. All the grumpy thoughts I’d had about him these last few days faded away.
“Hailey, just listen.” He put his hand on my arm. “I hate to tell you this, but you weren’t their second choice.”
“What?”
“He was going to give up the stipend so that you would get it, but it wouldn’t have gone to you, so, well, he kept it.”
And there it was. More proof that I was pretty much the dumbest student in the school, an idiot who could barely keep up with her classes. And who couldn’t even get in the top two spots for a stipend that would’ve changed my entire sophomore year. No wonder I was struggling in my class. I wasn’t smart enough to be here.
“Hailey, he was trying to do the right thing. And I was trying to do the right thing, for both of you.”
“Great,” I said. “So now both of you know how dumb I am.”
“You’re not dumb. I don’t want to hear you say that. You’re one of the brightest, kindest, most caring people I’ve ever met. Please don’t put yourself down.”
“Why not?” I said bitterly. “Everybody else does.”
I pulled away from him, grabbing my book bag. He called out to me, but he didn’t follow, perhaps sensing that I needed space. As I walked toward the condo, I reflected on all that he’d told me, and then on my parting words. That everyone put me down, but that wasn’t true. It was kind of more life itself that kept kicking me when I was down.
And then I turned the corner and saw the beautiful, spacious condo that always lifted my spirits. Then my eyes fell on the “For Sale” sign in the window.
Yep. Life, fate, and probably the entire universe were conspiring against me.
23
HAILEY
“Hey, Hailey, have you got a second?”
Ian appeared the second I walked into the frat house the next day. I groaned inwardly. The last thing I needed was another heartfelt-but-painful conversation like the one I’d had yesterday with Theo.