Cillian nodded, staring straight ahead.
“Did you really think I’d walk away?”
He shrugged. “He’s your family, and I have a history of sleeping with people to get what I want.” His voice pitched up, and he laughed. That fake one people used at parties they didn’t want to be at. He’d heard it at Hayden’s party and had recognized it then.
“Is that what Hayden said about you?” Margot had said something similar. But Cillian wasn’t a grasping user. He had a trauma that he’d kept buried and didn’t want exposed.
“Amongst other things.” He licked his lips. “I understand if you won’t help.”
“Stop being so understanding. I never said I won’t, but I need to think about what to do. I know one hundred percent that Hayden is a massive dick, and I believe you had no choice.”
“Fuck you.” But Cillian didn’t pull away, even when Anthony pulled him closer.
“You wish.”
Cillian huffed.
“Have you thought about talking to a therapist?”
“I have one. When my uncle?—”
“Oh, God.” Just when he was sure the story couldn’t get worse.
Cillian’s head snapped around, eyes wide. “He didn’t hurt me. He killed my aunt and cousins. Judge Fraser, look it up.”
Anthony didn’t need to. That had been a big case before his troubles began. “I remember it. He was friends with my father.” He hadn’t connected the dots because Cillian talked about growing up on a farm and Fraser was a common name.
“I was supposed to stay with them while I was at uni… If he’d waited six months, I might’ve been there. Or if he’d let her move out and move on, I might have stayed with her. I don’t know. It was… a rough time.”
That was putting it mildly.
It wouldn’t take much for Anthony to put together the exact timeline of events. From the murder, to when Cillian won the competition, to playing at Hayden’s wedding. Cillian had been a country kid in Sydney, looking to make his mark, and the wolves had left theirs instead, causing scars he didn’t want revealed.
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
Cillian wishedhe hadn’t spilled his guts and ruined the evening. If he hadn’t done it now, though, it would’ve been much worse in another few weeks or months. Anthony getting angry and walking away he could deal with, that was easy. The concern and care were much harder. He wanted to jump up and yell that he wasn’t made of glass, that he was fine.
Because he was.
Because at the time he’d been fine. He’d been flattered, and having fun, and… And even when he won the competition, he’d been on a high… It had been perhaps a year later that he’d started to question things.
Not out loud. Just sometimes when he played a particular piece of music. But even then, he’d been able to brush aside his concerns. They’d broken up at the time of the competition. They’d both moved on. It had been in a fling and nothing more, and they’d both gotten something out of it.
No, the first time the doubts had taken hold had been with Hayden’s insinuations.
“I should walk you home,” Anthony said, worry etched in the corners of his eyes. Like, somehow, Cillian’s past was more troubling than the ten years he’d spent in prison.
Fuck, what a pair they made.
“Please don’t look at me like that. My uncle is a dickhead, but I had more fun sharing a house with other uni students than I would’ve living with him or my aunt.”
Anthony was still watching him as he slowly finished his ice cream. Cillian was tempted to make a quip about better uses for his tongue, but he couldn’t quite find the words. Thisawkwardnesswas exactly the reason he didn’t like talking about that side of his family.
“I have no doubt you did. No one can choose their family.” Anthony sighed. “I wasn’t suggesting I come home with you.”
Cillian forced a laugh. “Why not?” But he knew the answer. Because now Anthony was wondering how damaged he was.