Page 5 of Secrets in a Sandstorm

I remember Harrison dating girls and boys in high school, and I’ve always wondered if something happened between them. It doesn’t matter, and I’m not sure why I asked, but since we’re talking about Jay and doing this trip for him…

“Did you ask him?”

He’s silent for a couple of heartbeats. “I thought about it at one point.” He shrugs, his lips twisting into a grimace. “But I figured from some of the things he said that he wasn’t open to trying anything. I wanted to keep him as a friend more than I wanted him as a lover. You don’t mess with things that are working.” He stretches outhis legs and rearranges himself. “I have sand all up in my junk.”

I can’t help but glance at his crotch as he does. Now I’m thinking about his junk and the way it filled his briefs this morning before he’d gotten dressed. Why the fuck do I remember that? That wasn’t all I noticed. He had a way of talking to people and making new friends with a few words and a smile. He’d been leaning on the hood of the guide’s four-wheel-drive, drinking black coffee from a tin cup while reviewing the map with the guide, chatting like they were old friends.

Harrison exuded calm confidence.

And when he’d looked over at me—too busy checking my boots for wildlife to be useful—and smiled, it hadn’t been the rising sun or the coffee warming me up after a cold night of desert camping.

What the hell is wrong with me?

This is Harrison, my brother’s best friend, someoneIcall a friend. A man who just said I’m like a brother to him. And I’m…catching feelings? I’ve never thought of a guy in that way. I look away, frowning. Not wanting him to see the confusion etched on my face.

“Same.” He’s not going to waste water on washing, not when we have no way of knowing how long the storm will last. “You must be used to it, though.”

“There are lots of things you get used to, but sand in your crack rubbing your ass raw is not one of them. Still better than leeches. I hate them.”

I don’t want to think about his ass.Too late.I play in the local rugby team; I see a lot of fit guys with what most people would call nice asses. But thinking about Harrison’s ass…that is something else. My dick twitches. I need a distraction. “Which is worse, spiders or leaches?”

“Spiders because they can be venomous. But let’s not play that game sitting in the dark with nowhere to go.”

Something brushes over my hand, and I yelp and swear even though it’s only his fingers. “Asshole.”

He laughs, head thrown back, and it echoes off the walls.

He’s good-looking with a grin that draws people in. But I swear this is the first time it’s done something to me, like I’m weightless for a moment. This time, my heartbeat increases for reasons other than fear.

Have I always found him attractive?

I’ve always dated girls. I find them attractive with their curves…but I want to lean over and lick his throat to taste the sweat and the sand on his skin. He glances at me and falls silent as if I spoke that thought out loud.

All I can hear is his breathing and my pulse thumping in my ears.

“Maybe we should do some exploring…for Jay?” Harrison says. His voice is rough, like the sand has gotten to his throat.

I swallow and nod, unable to tear my gaze away. “Yeah, for Jay.”

CHAPTER FOUR

PRESENT DAY

HARRISON

Max is watching me, and I don’t know if I should laugh and push him away or grab the front of his T-shirt and kiss him. Kissing him isn’t something I’d ever planned on doing. Max has always been there, like a younger brother…until I came home for a visit two years ago. Suddenly, he wasn’t a kid. He’d almost finished his degree—he was always smarter than Jay and me—and all grown up. Two inches taller and solid muscle, and I wanted to do things with him that were not very brotherly.

Jay would’ve punched me for thinking about Max in that way. Lucky for me, Jay wasn’t in my head when I was jerking off.

The next time I was home, it was for Jay’s funeral, and it was a lot for everyone, especially his parents. They kept saying how much I was like a son to them, and Max had gotten drunk and confessed how he’d split with his girlfriend of three years because she’d taken a job over east in Sydney.

It was a bad time all round.

This is supposed to be a fun time. A trip to complete the plans we’d made and put his ghost to rest. To remember the mischief we’d gotten into growing up. There were times Jay hated the way Max tagged along, but they were my family, and I wasn’t about to ditch a brother.

I try to keep that in mind. This is Max.

My dick agrees. This isMAX. Max, whose dark auburn hair has a matching happy trail that I try not to notice while we’re in such close quarters.

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