Page 18 of Secrets in a Sandstorm

After what seems like minutes of silence, Teddy speaks. “Could you light that fire for a bit? It must be night because I’m getting cold.”

“Of course.” I flick on the torch and pull out my knife, cutting the netting into pieces. Before making a neat pile about a meter away. It takes a couple of goes to get it burning, but then we have a merry little fire.

Teddy is watching me. His gaze burns into me. He’s not hiding the heat of his hunger, and my body wants to bask in it. It wants to give him everything he asks for because it’s been so long since anyone has touched me.

“How’s your side? Want me to check?”

“It’s fine, painful, but I don’t need a shot. I don’t want to fall asleep and never wake up.” He licks his lips. “I should write something for my mum. Just in case.” His voice is low as if saying it too loud will give it power.

It’s never a good sign when an injured soldier gets the urge to say goodbye to his loved ones. It means death is hovering nearby.

“We’re getting out of here.” I hope I sound convincing.

He looks up at me, lips curved and eyes dark. “I know…but I’ve got nothing else to do.” He pulls the map out of his pocket along with a nub of pencil.

I hand him my fountain pen.

“Thank you. I’m going to tear up the map. Any objections?”

“Give me the section with our location.”

He tears the map and marks our coordinates on my part.

I fold it up and put it in my pocket. “I’ll take a walk, give you a little privacy.”

“Thank you.” He smiles, and I remember why I took a shine to him the moment he joined my team, even though I was determined to ignore every flutter of attraction.

It’s much harder now. My heart wants something, someone, to hold on to.

“Right.” I stand and grab the torch. The cavern isn’t that big, but I don’t want to stumble over a snake that is also taking shelter.

I’m in no rush as I trace the outside of the cavern. Every couple of steps, I glance back at Teddy, sitting in the firelight, writing his letter. A lump forms in my throat at the idea of him dying. He’s always been so full of life…so dangerous to me.

Now the door has been opened. I cannot suppress the attraction. And if I give in? Why shouldn’t I take a few moments of joy out of this whole shitty situation?

Because I will unravel.

I cannot be the man that he wants or deserves. My heart is too scarred. He should be with someone who adores him and who wants to take every adventure with him, not a shell of a man who fears his own reflection.

My boot connects with something hard, and I scan the light over the sand. There’s metal in the sand. A weapon stash? Casings from a fight?

I kneel and brush the sand away. Not weapons, but gold.

An intricate gold and lapis armband lies in the sand. It’s beautiful and worth a fortune. There are people in Cairowho buy artifacts, and I wonder what else is buried. I eagerly clear away more sand, glad to have something to do and something else to think about.

My fingers sweep over more metal, and I pull a little lioness out of the sand.

Bast, one of the Egyptian goddesses. Maybe she listens where the other gods don’t. Not that I know what I’m praying for. An end to the bloody war would be a good start.

Peace.

Peace in my heart.

A heart capable of love.

A wave of vertigo has me reaching for the sand to stabilize myself. When I open my eyes, I’m not in the cave.

I don’t know where I am or who I am.

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