Page 48 of Off the Clock

“You going over to the hospital?” Eric jogged up alongside me. He was in street clothes with wet hair and had to be coming off a shift himself. I was dying to know if he’d been on the call for Scotty, but I couldn’t risk the question.

“Uh…” I tried to school my expression, but my inarticulate sound surely didn’t help my effort to not give too much away.

“John and most of the team went to the hospital after practice let out. I’m sure Cosmo is with them there waiting for news.” Eric’s tone was a bit impatient, like I should have knownall this already. “I’m heading to the hospital to check on John. Come on, ride with me. You can be support for…Cosmo.”

Eric’s audible pause before naming Cosmo was damming, another sign Caleb and I had overplayed our secret relationship.

“Yep, Cosmo might need me.” I nodded like a puppet on a stick, and it was a testament to our long friendship that Eric didn’t roll his eyes at me. He just unlocked his SUV and gestured for me to get in.

And so, I found myself in the visitor’s waiting area outside the emergency department, near the information desk, though there wasn’t much information forthcoming. Caleb’s mom was in with Scotty, who was only allowed one visitor at the moment, while Caleb sat in the corner of the waiting room, surrounded by spookily quiet football players. The players were all on their phones or staring at the TV, which was tuned to a sports news channel.

“Wow. Sean’s kid made the news again. Declan’s in the running for that new motocross series championship.” Eric nodded toward the TV as we both stood awkwardly near the edge of the room. “And look, there’s a seat near Caleb.” Eric gestured at the corner. “Go take it.”

Following orders was much easier than deciding on my own what might be appropriate.

“Hey,” I said softly to Caleb as I took the open chair. “Any news?”

“He’s conscious. Mom’s back there with him now, but he was complaining up a storm when I was with him. They’re doing several tests to rule out the big bads like concussion or spinal damage because he had some confusion and numbness immediately after the hit.”

“Conscious is good,” I murmured. God, I wanted to touch Caleb, help to replace his wooden tone with something sunnier.

“Surprised you came.” Caleb kept his voice at a bare whisper.

“Couldn’t stay away.” I was nothing if not dead honest.

“Tony.” Caleb exhaled hard, drawing my name out like a curse.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have come?—”

“Of course you should have.” His whisper had a harsh edge. “That’s the whole point.” Caleb sounded utterly miserable, and I understood fully for the first time what I was asking of him with this secret fling. He deserved so much more, a love out in the open and a partner who could hold his hand in moments like these.

“I wish…” I trailed off because my wishes didn’t matter. In addition to the professional risks, I wasn’t convinced I could be that guy for Caleb, not long-term like he deserved. I might have the impulse for the first time in my life, but what did I truly know about comfort?

“Me too.” Caleb echoed my mournful tone, looking past me as his mother, whom I’d met briefly at the fundraiser, emerged from the big double doors leading back to the emergency department exam rooms. He stood as she approached the waiting area. “Any news?”

“Yes.” Caleb’s mother rubbed her red and weary eyes. “Finally. Scotty is back from the last of the imaging tests. All clear. The doctor is calling it a stinger. Those can look serious at first and be plenty painful in the moment, but there’s no structural damage.”

“Thank goodness.” Caleb hugged her tightly, and I had to swallow a bunch of times to maintain my composure in the face of overwhelming relief. Over the summer, I’d come to care about all the football kids, Scotty included, which added another level of emotion to the situation.

“Do you want to go back and wait with him for the discharge papers? I’m in desperate need of coffee despite the hour.”

I opened my mouth to offer to fetch her some, but Caleb shook his head, another subtle signal that I couldn’t overstep the imaginary boundaries we’d set around our friendship.

“Sounds good, Mom. Let me grab my phone.” Caleb returned to the chair where he’d been sitting, patting all around it and the side table before discovering the phone in his pocket. “Oops. Here it is,” he announced loudly before lowering his voice so only I could hear. “She’ll stay with us tonight, likely, but I’ll text you.”

I nodded, knowing full well it wasn’t enough, wouldn’t ever be enough.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Caleb

I wasn’t entirely surprised by the tap on my window. Tony had texted asking if we were back home some time ago, and I’d replied that Scotty was resting while Mom was bunked down on the couch, having refused my bed.

Tony

What do you need?

Me

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