Page 47 of Midnight Auto Parts

As much as I would prefer skipping the gory details of how I transitioned, and whose fault it was, I didn’t want to end up in this situation again. I didn’t want anyone else to get hurt because I kept my secrets. I did my best to calm my galloping heart then dove into the story of what had really happened that night.

“A god killed you.” Josie’s fists balled on her lap.“Just to see what would happen?”

“Where do we find him?” Vials of dream sweet appeared on Matty’s palm. “See also: How do you kill a god?”

“Only a god can kill a god.” Kierce shook his head. “They’re truly immortal.”

“They’ll die without any worshippers.” I shut my mouth with an audible click. “Not that we have any way to identify theirfollowers or convince them to switch teams.” I rubbed a finger between my eyes. “They’ve adapted their perception of prayer to intercept enough energy to keep themselves going. Death gods can prey on the beliefs of anyone who visits a cemetery. Their energy seeps into the ground, into the bones, and then into the souls who have chosen to linger.”

“We can’t let him get away with killing our sister,” Matty growled, his sweet disposition slipping.

“You can’t square off against a god and win.” I slung my arm around his thin shoulders. “Especially not a death god. It’s right there in the name.” I hugged him close. “I still eat, sleep, drink, pee, etc. I’m still me. I’m just juiced up and possibly immortal.”

That last bit hit them over the head with a resounding thud, and their reactions were complicated to say the least. Joy Matty wouldn’t be alone. Fear we would lose Josie. Anger this world kept kicking us harder no matter how far we came from where we started at St. Mary’s. And, eventually, acceptance.

Not the real deal. Real acceptance would take time. For all of us.

This was more of a Band-Aid slapped over a crack spreading through the wall of a dam about to burst.

“I’m sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell us.” Josie crawled to me and rested her head on my lap. “I’m a lot. I know I am. You and Matty are saints for putting up with my crap. I can’t keep my mouth shut, and I can’t stop being angry, but I’m here for you, Mary. Always.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” I raked my fingers through her hair. “This was a me thing. I couldn’t grasp what happened to me, the changes I see in myself.” I had felt myself die. Horribly. Painfully. “I thought I had to accept it, or begin to accept it, before I could break it to you guys.”

“You always think you have to be strong for us.” Matty ruffled my hair. “You can lean on us, Mary. We’re here for you. Nexttime, maybe bring us your confusion. Let us help you figure things out. You can admit, I don’t know, when you’re scared or mad or hurt.”

“You’re allowed to have feelings,” Josie added. “You’re not some rock the world breaks against before it reaches us. You’re a person. You’re allowed to be confused and admit you don’t have all the answers.”

“It would be a relief.” Matty dragged a hand down his face. “If there were things even you don’t know.”

“I’ll do better,” I promised them. “It’s just hard for me.”

“That’s our fault.” Josie turned her face into my leg. “You became this way for us.”

“I would do anything for you two.” I pinched her arm, and she yelped, jumping back out of my reach. “Including ground your butts and take away your phones for disrespecting me.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Matty slumped against me, his head on my shoulder. “What happens next?”

“Kierce is going to teach me how to god,” I said, “and I’m going to teach him how to people.”

Rubbing the red mark, Josie grinned. “Can I watch?”

A flash of embarrassment threatened to strike before her devious tone reminded me.“You.”

“Meep.” She leapt to her feet and scurried behind the kitchen counter. “The cupcakes were a joke.”

“Not funny.” I stole a pillow off the bed. “You’re going down this time, Mary.”

“I’m so lost.” Matty collected a pillow from the couch. “However, I won’t let that stop me.”

“Two on one isn’t fair,” Josie wailed, darting left and right to avoid our swings.

“She’s right.” Matty smacked me in the back with his pillow. “You scared ten years off my life.”

“Hey.” I retreated under the onslaught. “I apologized, didn’t I?”

“She kissed Kierce,” Josie yelled as a distraction. “She laid a big old smackeroo on him.”

“You kissed Kierce and didn’t tell me?” Matty hesitated, and I whacked him in the face before he got his arms up again. “Actually—” the fabric muted him, “—I’m okay with that. I don’t need or want to know.”

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