Page 81 of Taming His Teacher

Lana, you have no fucking clue what I want, what I need.She might play along and, hell, she might even like getting spanked once in a while, but she wouldn’t mean it. Her submission wouldn’t be genuine. It would be another layer of manipulation. I’ll take Erin’s earnest, innocent delight in pleasing me over Lana’s cynical handling any day.

“My relationship with Erin is none of your business, but if it’ll get the message across, I’ll tell you. I love her. I’ve never loved anyone but her. She’s beautiful and sweet and smart. I will not be unfaithful to her. Ever. Especially not with you.”

* * *

Erin

After I say good-bye to Shep when the concert’s finished, I head over to check my faculty mailbox. I don’t check it often, probably once a week because there’s rarely anything inside. School business is mostly done online and it’s not like I get a lot of personal mail. I’m far more likely to get an Evite or a text than something with a stamp.

But today when I go up on tiptoes to peek into the narrow wooden slot, there’s something inside. I have to reach to pinch the edge of the thin envelope but I manage to extract it, trying not to let anticipation get the best of me. It could be anything. It’s not anything, though. It’s an official Hawthorn Hill School envelope, its scarlet and royal blue crest winking at me from the corner.

They don’t bother using the fancy stationery for regular faculty correspondence—most of that’s done over email. No, they break this out for big important things. Things like announcing promotions or awards, like the one Shep got when he’d been made a full faculty member.

The letter is vibrating between my fingers because my hands are shaking. I should go back to my apartment in case this is bad news—I don’t want anyone to see how upset I am if I’ve been passed over. But the idea of waiting the five minutes it’ll take me to make my way back to my apartment is intolerable. Instead, I duck into an alcove and make a quick wish before ripping open the envelope.

When I unfold it I have to clap a hand over my mouth to mute my squeal—I got it! I’m going to be the new Chair of the mathematics department at Hawthorn, effective June first. It comes with a raise of several thousand dollars, too, which is great, but, ah! I’m too excited to think much about what that means. Maybe Shep and I could go on vacation before school starts. He’s never left the country. I can’t wait to tell him. He’s going to be so proud of me.

I run down the hall and burst out the doors before I come to a halt. I don’t know exactly where Shep is to give him the good news. The possibilities comprise a pretty short list, though, so I set off at a jog toward the athletic complex. But when I get there, Skip tells me Shep went back to his apartment to grab a few things before settling in for the long haul. So back up to Meyer I race.

I am so out of shape it’s not even funny. I should get down to the gym more often. But running’s never been my strong suit and I’ve been zigzagging all over campus. I haul up the flights of stairs and I’m about to turn the corner when I hear voices.

“Look, Erin cannot know you’re here.”

I freeze. That’s Shep, but who is he talking to?

“I told you she doesn’t have to know.”

Her voice is like an inky black stain on everything good. Lana Davis. I peek around the corner. Shep’s back is against the wall and Lana is leaning into him with her hands on his chest. Vomit rises in my throat as tears well in my eyes while I crush the letter between my fingers.No, no, no.This can’t be happening.

He grabs her arms above her elbows and the way his fingers dig into the fabric of her coat…it’s how he touches me. Or should I say, touched. He’s never laying hands on me again. I might have stuck around and been Will’s doormat for years, but I refuse to do it again.

And this. It hurts so much worse than it did with Will. I thought… But why should I be surprised? I shouldn’t be. I was built to suffer and my father’s warned me of it from day one. Fine. I will suffer the ripping of my heart out of my chest, but I won’t let them bat it around and toy with me like two sadistic housecats.

“Get out of here before she finds out.”

To twist the knife deeper, she answers in a syrupy sweet voice, mocking me: “Yes, Zach.”

* * *

Shep

When Lana leaves, I watch her walk to her car, a red Mini with a Union Jack on the roof. Easy to identify. I call campus security and ask them to keep an eye out for her and to please escort her off campus if she shows up again. God, I hope not.

I throw my backpack over my shoulder and head down the stairs. While I’m crossing the campus, I call Erin but she doesn’t pick up. Maybe she’s got her music cranked up and she’s dancing or maybe she’s fallen asleep on the couch while she’s watching TV. As the night goes on and I still don’t hear from her, I’m more and more sure that’s what’s happened. Otherwise, she would’ve called me. She always calls me.

While I’d rather be hearing her ray-of-sunshine voice instead of the crazed whooping of the guys like monkeys in a goddamn zoo, I don’t want to wake her up. She needs her rest; tomorrow’s going to be a big day. She gets overwhelmed with so many strangers on campus, having to make small talk with people she doesn’t know. She won’t show it. She’ll smile and make polite conversation, pulling up details about each of the guys to share with their families, but by the time we go home tomorrow night, she’ll be ready to crash. She can crash into me.

Tomorrow morning, when we get to wake up in the same bed because the guys will be gone, she’ll have my ring on her finger and she’ll be so thrilled she can hardly stand it and I’ll make her mine again and again and again. All summer. The thought of it is what gets me through the long night of keeping the guys in check.

I try Erin again on my way back to my apartment. She doesn’t pick up. She must be in the shower, which is where I should be if I don’t want to be late for the procession.

I scrub up quick, satisfied when I look in the mirror I won’t be mistaken for a student in my grey suit. Probably. The clothes should tip them off because the guys will all be in Hawthorn blazers, but I’m sure some of the parents will do a double take because I went to school with their older sons. A good reminder to keep my hands off Erin until we’re alone.

I join the stream of students, their families, faculty and staff headed down to the playing fields where they’ve set up giant tents for the festivities. I look around for Erin but don’t see her. I hope she didn’t sleep through her alarm. If she fell asleep on the couch, maybe she didn’t set one at all…

We’re all queued up and about to start down the aisle when she shows up and wedges into her place in line. She faces toward the stage they’ve set up and doesn’t look back, not once. Something isn’t right, but hell if I know what it is.

Oh, shit. Promotions get announced around graduation. Maybe someone else got the Chair? Erin was late and that would’ve dinged her chances but I can’t believe Headmaster Wilson would pass her over. She’s so perfect for it, and who the hell else did he get to do the job? I can’t believe they’d hire someone from outside the school if they didn’t have to. But that must be what’s happened: she didn’t get it. Nothing else would have her this upset.

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