She hadn’t want to accept the box I’d given her when she was dropping me off at the airport. “It’s too much,” she’d said.
“I want you to have it. It’ll make you think of me while I’m away.”
“I’ll think of you anyway.”
“I hope so.”
I’d looped it around her neck, fastening the clasp, and she’d sighed. Despite her protests, I think she liked it.
“Thank you. You didn’t have to do this.” I know I didn’t, but I’ve pictured her fingering the silver lock on the chain while worrying her bottom lip with her teeth and pressing her thighs together while she’s doing her homework. That’s more than enough in exchange.
“You’re welcome. I’m allowed to treat my pretty baby once in a while. I won’t do it often, I promise.”
She’d smiled her sweet smile and kissed me. Her eyes had welled with tears when she whispered, “I’ll miss you.”
I’ve missedher, this plane ride interminable. She’d wanted to pick me up at the airport, but she has a meeting she can’t miss. I don’t mind hitching a ride on the school van picking up the guys from Logan. When I flick my phone on after landing, the voice mail icon is blinking. After I enter my passcode, the polite automated voice tells me I have three messages. Three? The first one I delete as soon as I hear the unnerving voice on the other end. The second one is Erin, telling me she hopes I had a good flight, and she can’t wait to see me. I plug my ear over the racket of people hauling their bags out of the overhead bins and listen to it three times. Her bright voice has that same moonlike effect on the blood pumping through my body it always does; pooling, pulling like the tides.
I hadn’t denied myself the way I’d denied her, but I’m aching for her like I had. I save her message—an audible reminder of good things in this world—and go on to the next message.
“Zach. It’s your mother. Call me when you get this. Love you.”
My mom’s not one for rambling, but this is short for her. I could wait until I get back to school to call her, but the only thing I want to think about when I get back is Erin.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Mom.”
“Oh, hi, Zach. I didn’t know how long you’d be. How was your trip?”
“Fine. What’s going on?”
“Your father and I have talked it over and we’ve decided if you’re still willing to have him, it would be in Caleb’s best interest to go to Hawthorn next year.”
I’m stunned speechless. This doesn’t make any sense. I was pretty sure they’d never let Caleb visit me again, never mind live up here and go to Hawthorn.
“Zach?”
“Yeah, Mom, I’m here. What the hell—”
“Language, Zach.”
“You know for Caleb to go to Hawthorn you’ll have to make me his legal guardian. He can’t just come live with me.”
“Yes, I know. That’s what we’ll do. I told you. We talked it over.”
Talking’s never been my dad’s strong suit, nor my mom’s. I shouldn’t care and it’s not my business, but curiosity compels me to ask. “What did you say?”
“I told your father if he didn’t let Caleb go to Hawthorn I’d divorce him and take Caleb up there anyway. He could lose Caleb to a better place with more opportunities where he’ll be well provided for or he could lose us both.”
Holy shit.
“Mom, I—”
“It’s not too late, is it?”
“I’ll call the Headmaster as soon as I hang up with you.”
There’s a sigh of relief on the other end. “You tell Erin I say hello, and thank you.”