Page 37 of The Cartographer

Her face softens, becoming more of a soft glow than a fire waiting to rage out of control. There it is: love, devotion, gratitude, all gleaming in her eyes. “What do I like about Him?”

The verbal capitalization of “him” is obvious in the reverential way she says it. She’s exquisite, her ardor for him so sharp it cuts. She blinks, and I can almost see the way the movie plays in her mind, all the things she loves about him.

“I’m not sure if you understand what it’s like, to be a person like me…”

She eyes me cautiously, as if I might mock her, hurt her, but when I dip my head and say in an utterly neutral, soft tone, “You mean a slave?” she nods and continues.

“I’m…too much. I scare people. Disgust and horrify them. The things I want…”

I can see all the times she’s been rejected, demeaned, all the times people have made her feel badly for being brave enough to confess her deepest desires, and it squeezes my heart. Yes, I know what that’s like. I’ve seen too many people treated that way.

“They’re too much,” she finishes blandly, probably trying to block out the memories by not giving them any weight out here in the world. “But Master…”

There it is again—that glow. I get it.

“Master never makes me feel that way. He accepts what I want and need. Not only that, but he values me for it. Even when he refuses me, he does it in a way that makes me feel cherished and protected instead of dirty and revolting.”

She looks up at me again with ferocity in her eyes, daring me to contradict or argue with her, but I won’t. “Then I’m happy for you both. Thank you for your candor.”

“So you’re finished with your investigation, Inspector Walter?”

A title that makes the corner of my mouth twitch in a reluctant smile, her gentle teasing another reminder of India. “Yes, and everything’s as it should be. I hope I’ll be seeing you again.”

I do. It seems as though Kenji’s finally met his match in Kass, and I’m glad they’ve found each other. As much as I’d rather frame it as different wants instead of assigning it a value, I’m sure 99.9 percent of the world would agree: what they want is too much. So it’s handy they’ve managed to sift through the sands and latch onto the other piece of sea glass.

Kass doesn’t return my sentiment, and that’s okay. She uses her coiled tight muscles to step lithely off the chair and give a wave before she heads back out to where her master’s awaiting her, no doubt having planned some new delectable torture in the time we’ve been talking. By the way her hips swing as she walks to the door, she’s thinking the same thing.

When she opens it, she sinks to her hands and knees and passes over the threshold as his property once again. I catch a glimpse of Kenji’s expression through the doorway as she crawls through it, and the feelings they have for each other are clearly mutual.

Something inside me pings, and I can’t quite identify the feeling. Seeing my clients happy and satisfied, paired with an appropriate and loving partner, usually provides me with unqualified contentment. Today… Am I happy for them? Of course. But the thought hovering at the edge of my brain isn’t of the next thing to tackle from my long list of things to do, but of a certain man waiting for me back in my hotel room.

Chapter Thirteen

‡

Riding the elevatorup to my suite, I lean back against the wall, thunking my head on the mirrored surface. I’m supposed to take Hart out tonight, but I don’t know if I can manage it. I might have to beg off and offer some profuse apologies. Though maybe when I see him, I’ll feel differently. He has a way of making me feel…energized. Sure, that’s the word for it.

I let myself in with the keycard and step inside to where Allie’s lounging on the couch, phone pressed to his ear. With a few words, I can tell he’s on the phone with Kendra. I give him a wave as I head through the bedroom and into the en suite. I get in the shower because I want to wash the whole thing off. Kenji tests my mettle. At least he’s good for desensitizing me. Nothing makes me blink anymore.

After letting the hot water sluice over me for a good ten minutes, I feel slightly more human. Not to the extent I want to go clubbing or anything, but I could probably manage dinner.

I don’t bother putting on clothes before wandering out to the living room but sling on a robe because, depending on what we decide to do, I might dress differently.

“How’s Kendra?”

Hart blinks at me as if he’s surprised I noticed.

“Fine. Kids are good.”

“Good.” I perch on the back of the couch, not bothering to attempt much in the way of modesty. “So I know I said we could go out tonight, but my session was more taxing than I’d expected. Would you be terribly put out if we went to dinner instead?”

Allie shakes his head, and I can’t detect any real disappointment on his face. “Would you be upset if I asked for room service? I mean, I know you want to show me off and all…”

Crossing my arms, I cock an eyebrow, a skill I had to perfect in the mirror when I was a kid. So worth it. “Do I?”

“Dude, I’m a hot piece of ass.”

That makes me laugh. I don’t remember the last time someone called medudebefore I met Hart. I could get used to it.

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