Page 80 of His Custody

When she was done, she found a note saying he was in the library, and she could join him when she was ready. The walk down the hall seemed too long, but that was probably just the dread stretching it out. She expected to find him perched by the wet bar, drink in his hand, but he was sitting on the enormous leather couch in front of the fire, staring into the flames. As she rounded the couch, she took the opportunity to study his face. God, she loved the strong lines of him. Steady and sharp, there was nothing subtle about his features. Square jaw, sloped brow bone, even his generous mouth looked like it had been carved from stone.

She could’ve stared at him forever, memorizing the sight to take back with her to New Haven and think about when she was lonely and wishing for him. But of course that wasn’t what she was here for. Not even turning to face her, he patted the space next to him on the couch.

“Come sit with me, Tinker Bell.”

She wanted to say no, but she wanted more to be close to him, so she sat where he’d patted and sighed when his arm curled around her shoulders. Heavy, and, like whenever she felt his weight, comforting.

“I owe you an apology.”

That was unexpected. “For what?”

“For the way I’ve gone about this. You have to believe me that I’ve only ever wanted the best for you. I know I’ve screwed up countless times, and I’m damn lucky that you’re so resilient, because not everyone would’ve made it through what you have. And not scraped by, but honestly flourished. I’m so proud of the person you’ve become. I love how smart and hard-working you are, how loyal, and even though it drives me up a goddamn wall sometimes, I even love that you’re so stubborn. And along with all those things, there are some much less honorable reasons I love you. You’re beautiful, sexy as hell, and kinky as fuck in the most delightful ways. And I...”

He paused to scrub a hand over his face, and though she was aching for him to, he still didn’t meet her eyes. “I never meant to make you feel any less than that. I never meant for you to feel unloved or unsafe, and I sure as hell didn’t mean for you to walk into some club, surrounded by strangers because you were chasing what I was withholding from you. So I’m sorry, and I’ll fix this, I swear.”

She wanted more than anything for him to know how much she loved him; she didn’t care what anyone else thought, she wanted to be with him forever and not have to hide anymore. So she crawled into his lap and put her arms around him, leaning in to kiss him, a gentle sweet thing that he returned, taking her lead.

“Jasper?” She murmured his name against his lips and it made her eyes water. Over and over in her head she said his name, would say it over and over out loud when he’d fallen asleep that night.Jasper.That’s what her heartbeat would say after she’d fallen asleep, that’s what her breathing would whisper when she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer.Jasper.

“Yeah?”

She threaded her fingers through the close-cropped hair at his neck. She wished it were long enough to hold, but it slipped through, so she petted him. Stroke after stroke her fingertips glided across his soft hair. “Will you marry me?”

He stiffened underneath her and she held her breath, but still her pulse beat in her ears.Jasper, Jasper.

“Of course I will, Tinker Bell. Of course I will.”

“Now?” She knew he would after she graduated, but she wasn’t finished yet. She wouldn’t be for three-and-a-half years and she didn’t think she could wait that long.

He laughed, a little huff that shook a tear free from her eye. “Not now. I was serious when I said I wanted you to finish school first, and I was dead serious when I said I wanted you to have an out.”

“But—”

He hushed her with a finger over her lips, one she couldn’t help but kiss and nip. He shook his head in an affectionate admonition. “Wicked little pixie. What I was going to say is that if you never decide to take it, that’s fine. I’m not going to be such a stupid fuck and push you away again. So here’s the deal. Until the day you graduate, I belong to you. I will be faithful, I will be committed. I’m not going to sleep with anyone else, I won’t play with anyone else. All of me is yours. You, on the other hand, are free to do as you choose. Fuck as many people as you like, go to a club to play with whomever as long as you go with Alice or Leisl. If someone asks you on a date and you want to go? Go. As long as you’re safe, you may do as you like.”

She wanted to tell him she didn’t want any of that, she only wanted him, but he stopped her with a smile, a small tick up of the corner of his lip that made him look devious and shy at once. “And if you never do, then you never do. You can be with me whenever you like, and you can decide how. If you want me to master you? I will. If you just need someone to talk to? I will listen. For the next three-and-a-half years, I am at your disposal.”

“And what happens at the end? When I graduate?”

All bashfulness melted away and that look of greed she loved so well colored his features, making her shiver with delight. “Unless you’ve decided otherwise, I’m putting a ring on your finger and never letting you go. And then as faithful and devoted as I’ve been to you, you will be to me.”

I already am.

But if he needed the security blanket of giving her choices, she’d let him have it. If it were really just a matter of rings and a piece of paper, what did it matter? He was giving her everything she was asking for, some things she wasn’t, and only requesting a token for himself in return. She could do that, and she would, for him, though it seemed so far away. She’d have to be satisfied with all the other ways he would possess her.

Cupping her jaw and stroking her cheek, he held her away to look in her eyes, and she felt as though he were not only seeing into her, but baring himself to be seen as well. “Do you want me to move to New Haven while you finish school?”

“No. I need you to move to New Haven. Please.”

Jasper grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled, forcing a gasp from her which quickly turned into a moan. “How can I say no to this face?”

“You say no to me all the time.”

“Because you need me to, yes?”

“Yes.” She did. She needed him to say yes, say no, say he loved her, and that she was his.

“Yes what, sweetheart?”

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