Page 67 of Shining Through

“Jerk.”

“He was hurt when I ended it. It’s no surprise that he doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“Then why do you keep calling?”

“Because I wish I could take it all back. But I can’t,” Tabitha said, defeated.

“Heartache sucks.” Samara put her arm around Tabitha while Tabitha dropped her head on her sister’s shoulder. She had more in common with Samara than she’d realized.

“Sure does.”

“Come on, Sis. Let’s go home.”

Fiona was still in the kitchen, and the apartment was filled with the warm, sweet smell of just-baked pecan pie. She’d chopped the vegetables, cleaned the small turkey, and mixed the stuffing. “Everything is ready for tomorrow. I thought it was about time we had an honest-to-God Christmas dinner. And stay out of that! It’s not Christmas yet,” she scolded Samara, who was about to cut into the pie. “You girls want to set up the tree?”

Samara gaped and set down the pie knife. “We still have it?

“Down in the storage room. The ornaments and lights should be there too.”

It had to have been at least five years and three apartments since they’d last set up the table-top artificial tree. Most of the ornaments were homemade, or oddball freebies they’d picked up here and there, but the lights worked. When she finished in the kitchen, Fiona put on her favorite Christmas album, which featured KISS, Anthrax and Alice Cooper.

“No one sings ‘White Christmas’ like Alice. Nicest guy you’d ever want to meet, but oh my stars, he drank like a fish!” Fiona hung a Buzz Lightyear ornament on a low hanging branch, then stepped back to admire her work. “I’ve missed this. Too many years wasted on some man who wasn’t worth the trouble. If I had it to do over again…” her voice trailed off.

“What?” Tabitha asked.

Fiona shook her head. “Never mind.”

But Tabitha knew what Fiona would have done. After leaving Jason, she would have insisted Tabitha quit figure skating and moved them all back to Missouri. She could have spent the last fifteen years close to family. She might have met a nice man, rather than another unreliable musician. Samara wouldn’t have struggled for years with undiagnosed ADD. They’d live in a house, rather than a crappy apartment close to Tabitha’s rink.

“I know what you would have done. You would have left LA, rather than stay so I could skate. You could have been close to your family. Samara wouldn’t have spent her childhood being dragged along to my competitions, and could have been doing what she loved.”

She sat back on her heels and her shoulders slumped. “You both sacrificed so much, and I wanted to win gold so I could repay just a little of that. I wanted to help you with school, Samara. And Mom, I wanted to buy you some land back in Missouri. Only now, there’s a good chance I won’t make the team for Grenoble, and it will all be for nothing!”

“Hey.” Samara sat in front of Tabitha, a fierce look in her heavily made-up eyes. “Who says it was for nothing? And what makes you think I wasn’t doing what I loved? Didn’t you notice that I always had a sketchbook? Or a camera? While you were on the ice creating your art, I was in the bleachers creating mine.”

Fiona knelt beside her, put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Honey, I talk about wanting to move back there, and maybe one of these days I will. But you didn’t keep me from my family. You and Samara are my family! I came to LA because I was a groupie, but I stayed, because I was your groupie. I am so damn proud of both of you, and gold medal or not, I’m in your corner. And that thing I wish I’d done? Instead of thinking about all the things I didn’t have, I would have appreciated the blessings in front of me.”

Tabitha felt the tears well up again. In the last month, she’d cried more than she ever had. Kneeling in the middle of their crappy little apartment, surrounded by heavy metal Christmas carols, she hugged Fiona, and Samara. The weight on her shoulders felt a bit lighter.

Fiona brushed away a few tears of her own and glanced at the clock on the DVR. “Hey look! It’s nine o’clock.”

“What’s so great about nine o’clock?” asked Samara.

“Nine in LA means it’s midnight on the East Coast. Merry Christmas! Now, let’s have some pie.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

TABITHA, PETER AND BRETT ARRIVEDin Philadelphia for Nationals on the third Sunday in January. The competition didn’t start until Thursday, but the days would be full of practices, fan and charity events, and media interviews.

With no response from Daniil, she had no choice except to put him in the past, and move forward. Fiona had tried to comfort her, saying it was better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Tabitha wasn’t sure she believed it. Maybe in time. Only that time hadn’t arrived yet.

For now, the best she could do was keep her heart guarded and her sights on the ice. Nationals were high-intensity under normal circumstances and a Winter Games season ratcheted the pressure to stratospheric levels. New stars were born, others saw their dreams die.

Tabitha wouldn’t let hers die without a fight.

Though the Ice Queen mask didn’t fit as well as it used to, she wore it anyway. Her disastrous St. Petersburg skate and Mia Lang’s triumph were too interesting for people not to talk about. Peter’s interview comments about Tabitha’s mistakes and poor choices only fueled more gossip. Curious stares seemed to follow her everywhere.

But by Wednesday morning, an even bigger mystery had surfaced. Where was Mia Lang?

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