Page 36 of Shining Through

“I’ll say it has,” Daniil said, shaking his head. “There’s not a thing in that story to feel bad about.”

“I made an enormous fool of myself. People at the rink talked about it for weeks.”

“You were a kid about to lose something you loved, through no fault of your own. Once you had the chance to skate, you worked hard and never looked back. That’s reason to be proud, not hide behind fake perfection.”

“Perfect people don’t have public meltdowns. But, perfection is exhausting. Peter has concocted this public image for me that’s so far from my reality, it’s almost funny. Not to mention impossible to live up to. The Antigone program is an extension of my pre-med at Harvard alter-ego.”

“That explains why you don’t like it very much. But you don’t need to be perfect with me. I’d rather know the real Tabitha, with freckles, curly hair and a crazy life.”

“Even if the real Tabitha is a scared mess who feels like she’s barely keeping it together?”

His smile was genuine and reassuring. “Join the club. Even with so many advantages, I screwed up my life trying to get the attention of people who didn’t give a damn, anyway. I wasted years being angry with a mother who left me with a father who never even wanted a son. While I was fighting against something, you were fighting for something.”

She let the words turn over slowly in her mind. Not only had he not ridiculed her, or looked down on her humble background, he saw her struggle in terms of her victory. She had been fighting for something, and against daunting odds, she’d triumphed. The realization warmed her down to her soul. She sat a little straighter.

It also made her see him a bit differently. Wealth hadn’t erased the hurt of being unloved and unwanted. “It hasn’t been easy for you, has it?”

“It’s getting better. I’m more committed to my skating than I ever have been. Ilya inspires me because he’s overcome struggles even worse than mine. I look at Anton and Carrie, and see it is possible to love someone in the right way, and for children to grow up knowing they’re loved too. That’s the sort of life I want someday.” He smiled self-consciously. “With the right person.”

Startled, she blinked. He couldn’t mean her. They hardly knew each other. Then again, weren’t they trying to change that? What she’d seen so far, she liked a lot. She wanted to know him more.

Her gaze fell on the colorful images inked on his skin. Waves and water covered his left arm. On the right forearm, a 1940’s car drove on a moonlit road. On the side of his hand, just below his thumb, was a simple outline of a figure skating blade.

“I like that one,” she said, brushing her finger-tip across it. “The artist even got the toe pick right.”

“Of course she did. She’s Russian,” he said with a measure of pride. “People there know about figure skating.”

Bolder, she took his hands in hers and turned them over to study the words inked in English on his knuckles. LOVE on the right. HATE on the left. “I’ll bet you didn’t get these done in Russia.”

“London, five years ago, when I went to watch my mother marry the duke she just divorced.”

“Did you get them to make her mad?” The idea brought a subversive little thrill.

His laugh was deep and rich. “I did it because of the character in the Blues Brothers. It’s one of my favorite movies. The fact it made her mad was just a bonus.”

Letting her guard down, she laughed too. “Well, at least your mom had the sense to marry a duke. The best my mom can do are a bunch of clowns.”

“I thought you were a rock star’s daughter.”

“That’s Samara. And Jason was no prize, believe me.”

“You’re lucky though, even if you don’t see it. You have a close family who is always in your corner. They love you, and you love them. I envy that.”

She never thought of her life as worthy of envy, especially from someone who’d grown up with everything. She gazed into his eyes, wanting to kiss him. But she held back. That was something Fiona would do. Or Samara. This was too new, too fragile. And she’d already set the ground rules. She couldn’t very well turn around and break them after one day. It was better to take things slow. Be careful, just like she’d promised Olga.

In the meantime though, there was no reason not to enjoy being with him. She lifted her water bottle in a toast. “To crazy families.”

He smiled. “Something else we have in common.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

TABITHA WASN’T SURPRISED THAT DANIILnailed the Back Cross Rolls they worked on the next day. The day after, she taught him a dance sequence.

By the end of the weekend, the program she’d choreographed to Jeff Beck and Joss Stone’s cover of “I Put a Spell on You,” had come together. It was the first complete program she’d ever created, and unlike any she’d ever skated, fusing ice dance and free style elements.

The dance moves she and Daniil performed together were simple: the blues pattern she’d taught him, which they ended with a lunge. Then they went into a twizzle sequence as much in synch as two singles skaters could manage. When it was over, he left the ice and she skated on alone.

Just as the program was unlike any she’d ever skated, so was the character she portrayed.

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