Page 34 of Shining Through

“I’m still not in love with it.” She didn’t want to lie; she wished he hadn’t asked.

“That’s because your passion is for dance. I saw it when you skated at the rink in Chicago, and when you were teaching me today.”

“That’s because ice dance is something I do for fun, not because I have to win gold.”

“Why do you have to win gold?”

She looked up and stared. “Seriously? I can’t believe you’re even asking that.”

“I ask because I’m curious, and it’s a valid question.”

“With an obvious answer,” she huffed. “So tell me why you want to win gold.”

“My goal isn’t to win a gold medal. It’s skating in Grenoble. I want it because I love skating and want to prove there’s a place for me in the sport. Now back to you. Why is nothing short of gold good enough?”

“You’re sure full of questions. Maybe you belong in journalism instead of skating.”

He laughed. “I want to know you, and for you to know me.

She shrugged her reply.

“So tell me why nothing less than gold matters. And why you gave up ice dance.”

She avoided his gaze, and kept her attention on her boot laces, which looked frayed. Just like her nerves. She didn’t like being psychoanalyzed by someone with just as much baggage. She rubbed a chamois over the damp blade and stretched a terry cloth soaker over it. “All right, fine. I gave up ice dance because singles offered more opportunity.”

“For money, you mean?”

“Yes, for money. Before Olga became my sponsor, Fiona worked a second job at my rink to pay for my training. Skating people convinced her I had the potential to rise in the sport and because the most popular, and profitable, discipline is ladies’, it made sense to concentrate on that.”

“But if you were passionate about ice dance, shouldn’t you have stayed with it?”

Passion again. Couldn’t he drop the subject? As if there was nothing more important. Ha! Money had given him freedom to do as he pleased, as well as a soft place to land when those all-important passions went south. She’d never had that luxury.

She held up a custom skate, angry not just at him, but at the unfairness of it all. “In case you haven’t noticed, none of this is cheap! Unlike you, I don’t come from money. My family made a lot of sacrifices for my skating.”

“But you made them too. You missed out on things, like we all have. You gave up ice dance to skate in a discipline you liked less.”

“Who said I liked it less,” she snapped, even though it was true. “Anyway, it was a long time ago. What matters now, is this season. When I didn’t make the team for Oslo, and stayed in another four years, Fiona, Peter and Samara were totally on board with it. If I win the gold medal, then I can do something for them.”

“Such as?”

“Give Peter the professional recognition that’s eluded him his entire career. I’ll land endorsement money that will pay for my sister’s education, provided she hasn’t flunked out by then. And I can buy my mom some land near her family, back in Missouri. She left home when she was young, but her heart’s still there. I want her to have a place that’s her own, so she’ll always have a roof over her head. No matter what... passion... she pursues.”

“What about you? What passion do you want to pursue?”

“I have no idea. That’s something other people do. Not me.”

“Maybe that’s the problem.”

Where did he get off, criticizing her for being cautious and responsible? “There’s no problem! I do what needs to be done. I’m practical and careful. There’s not a damned thing wrong with that.”

She tossed the skate in her bag, with a little less care than usual, in a hurry to leave the rink. But Daniil gently put his hand on her arm, stopping her. “I didn’t say there was,” he said, then rose, and hoisted his own bag over his shoulder. “Come on, we worked hard today. Time for a little indulgence.”

“No. I’ve indulged enough. I have things to do. I need to get back, and—”

“There will be plenty of time for whatever you think you must do. But right now, is something else you must do.”

She sighed. “Fifteen minutes. Then I’m heading back to the hotel.”

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