Page 76 of The Five Stages of Courting Dalisay Ramos

Dalisay looks up to see Lola standing in the hallway, shuffling toward the kitchen and making a beeline toward a plate ofturon, the family’s go-to snack.

“I was just reading,” she says as she wipes her cheeks with the back of her wrist and helps Lola with a plate. Lola makes no mention of her tears or the puffiness of her face; instead she hums a little love song that Dalisay doesn’t recognize.

“What book?” Lola asks.

“The Story of Florante and Laura in the Kingdom of Albania. I hope you don’t mind. I found your copy in the attic when I was cleaning it out.”

Lola’s face crinkles when she smiles. It’s so easy to see Papa’s face in hers. “Ah! A true classic.”

From what she managed to read, Dalisay knows it’s one of the most romantic stories she has ever read. Told in song-verse calledawit, it’s about lovers separated during Spanish colonial rule; about injustice; and how love can win the day. If only life were like the stories.

Nicole appears in the kitchen, checking her phone, dressed and ready to go somewhere.

“Where are you heading to?” Dalisay asks.

“Out, with Pinky. And you’re coming with us.” Nicole reaches over and takes aturon, pinching it in her teeth. “Ooh, this is good, Lola.”

Lola seems more than pleased with the compliment.

“Where are we going exactly?”

“Mall. You in? Pinky won’t take no for an answer.”

Dalisay considers it for a moment, then says, “Sure. Why not.”

Lola makes Nicole take anotherturonbefore her sister heads back to her room, saying she forgot something. Of everyone in the house, Lola is the only one who hasn’t treated Nicole differently. In her own subtle way, Lola is taking Nicole’s coming out a lot better than Dalisay expected—that is to say that Lola has hardly changed at all.

Dalisay wonders if she’s made her own assumptions about her grandmother.

“Did you ever have your heart broken, Lola?” she asks.

Lola considers it for a moment and wipes her fingers on a napkin on the table. She pinches a gold necklace and Dalisay realizes she’s reciting a passage fromFlorante and Laura.“‘Is there an ache that might exceed the pain that parting lovers heed? The notion, let alone the deed, could shake a heart of staunchest breed.’”

She must have the entireawitmemorized.

But the way she says it makes Dalisay think maybe Lola’s been in a similar situation, that she’s lost someone dear to her.

“Do not let a broken heart break you,” Lola says. She touches Dalisay’s cheek just as Nicole reappears.

“Pinky’s here!” she calls, already heading to the door with a slight skip in her step.

Time to go. Can’t keep Pinky waiting. But Dalisay can’t help but wonder what secrets her grandmother may have, what kind of life Lola lived before she had children, a life that Dalisay realizes she knows almost nothing about. Dalisay wants to ask, but like most things, perhaps she needs to be patient and wait until Lola shares it with her. She imagines it’s a story worth telling.

Dalisay gives Lola a quick kiss on the cheek before she leaves.

Dalisay can’t remember the last time she’s been to a mall; it feels like a lifetime ago. In the Philippines, the mall was one of her favorite places to go after school. Her favorite one in Manila was called the Shangri-la Plaza, and it really lived up to the name. It seemingly had everything: all the best American fast-food restaurants; expensive designer stores she could only window shop in; a movie theater where she sawPride and Prejudicefor the first time; even a chapel where she half-joked she’d get married to Keanu Reeves one day. It’s nostalgic goingto a mall now, even if the one here in San Francisco just isn’t the same, but Dalisay thinks maybe it’s because she’s not the same person now as she was when she was in Manila.

The Westfield Mall is similarly structured like the Shangri-la, with five floors pierced through the middle atrium by what Dalisay can only describe as an inverted Christmas tree hanging from a glass dome. The marble floors echo almost every sound back tenfold as Dalisay, Nicole, and Pinky ascend the escalator and Pinky picks a seemingly random direction, and they begin their much-needed girls’ day out.

Pinky and Nicole seem determined to step into every store they see, even the ones that sell beauty products that smell like dessert or clothes and jewelry for goth teens. Both Nicole and Pinky giggle like teenagers themselves, trying all the products, and Dalisay can’t help but smile.

Nicole points out a mannequin in the Nordstrom window who is wearing a man’s suit. “Hey, doesn’t that look just like the one Evan wore for Simbang Gabi?” she asks.

“Yeah, I think so,” says Dalisay. He looked so handsome. She could tell he was tired, and yet he seemed to wake up when he saw her. He tried so hard during Mass to blend in, and it warms her heart even now thinking about it. He really did try.

At the nail salon, a result of Pinky’s loud and repetitive complaints that her nails were abysmal, Nicole picks out a shimmery pink color for Dalisay. “Doesn’t it look like capiz shell? So pretty!”

It does. It’s a soft, delicate color that definitely looks like their oldparol, the one Evan broke.

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