Page 46 of The Five Stages of Courting Dalisay Ramos

She tangles her fingers in his curls. He smells like spice, he tastes like hot chocolate. Every time they touch, it’s like new.

Evan’s tongue eases her mouth open, and her head drops back. He sucks, and pulls on her lips, dragging his tongue across hers, stealing her breath away.

His hands trace her sides, and she lifts her Christmas sweater to let him touch her skin. If she had planned on doing this, she might have worn something less absurd than an outfit with built-in lights. But she hardly cares about that now. All she cares about is his rough hands sliding up her body, sending sparks of pleasure across her bare skin, before one hand finally lands on top of her bra and he squeezes her breast. It makes her moan.

Evan gasps a little, his eyes open now, half-lidded, his pupils blown out. She can’t see his irises anymore, those gorgeous brown eyes lost in a black hole.

Dalisay nudges his head to the side with her nose as she drags her lips across his beard stubble and nibbles on his earlobe. The muscles in his jaw tighten and she kisses him there, feeling his pulse and the goosebumps that rise under her lips. He wants her, she can tell, the hardness pressed against her apparent, and pleasure rolls through her at the thought. His grip on her only gets tighter.

Dalisay’s head knocks back once more as he squeezes her breast again, and he kisses the slope of her throat. His hand inches down, teasing the waist of her jeans, sending electricshocks of pleasure across her skin. The tips of his fingers skim against the soft skin below her hip bone. He dips lower.

“Evan,” she says breathless. “Evan, wait.”

He pauses, looking at her under his straight, dark brows, shoulders bobbing with every heavy breath.

“I …” It’s like she’s being torn in two directions. Her body pulses with want, but her mind tells her to pull back. To be patient. To take it slow. “I’ve never donethatbefore. It’s just … can we slow down?”

“Of course,” says Evan. Not disappointed, not repulsed, not even turned off. He takes his hand back, the spot where it was now unusually cold, and a part of her regrets letting him go. “It’s okay.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah. We don’t have to do anything else.” He dives in to kiss her again, and it makes her eyes flutter closed. She’s drunk off his touch.

They pull back for air and Dalisay swallows a lump in her throat. “You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad?” His voice is husky and low, and he kisses her again, sending her mind spiraling down into the depths of pleasure.

She always thought that American men were far more promiscuous and sexually liberated, and dating a virgin would be like a professional baseball player pitching in the little leagues. She doesn’t have an answer for him.

She can barely speak anyway, not when he kisses her like that. Open, craving, imploringly full of desire. A desperate moan escapes her, and she wants this, she wants this so badly, it almost hurts. She wantshim. But she won’t let herself havehim. She shivers under his touch, despite the heat burning through her, and Evan pulls back ever so slightly; his grip on her hips tightens and then eases.

“Do you want to wait until …” Evan pauses before saying, “Marriage?”

“Uh …” A part of her wants to automatically say yes—the good, responsible Catholic girl in her—but another part of her isn’t so sure anymore. She’s hardly let that part of herself run wild, and it’s been waiting for so long. Then again, does she really want to have sex in a public bathroom?

Evan hears her hesitation and nods, the smallest dip of his chin, and his eyes drop to her lips. She meets him there, pressing her lips to his, tugging his lower one between her teeth. He lets out another soft moan, and she swells with desire. He doesn’t seem to be troubled by wanting to take it slow. He only tightens the grip of her body against his, and he drinks her in as he kisses the corner of her mouth, then her cheek, his breath tickling her ear, his teeth nipping into the soft skin of her neck. “Is this still okay?”

“Ooh, yes. Please.” Her eyes roll back, and she feels his smile against her skin.

This is a good start.

Being with Evan is like being tipsy, all the time. It’s all warmth, and lightness, and everything is funny for some reason. The days are brighter, the sky is bluer, and the air has never smelled so sweet.

Unlike when she was dating Luke, it’s no secret that she’s with Evan. Word spreads fast. The whole family knows withina day that he completed all five stages, because of course Lola would never let something like that stay quiet. Lola’s approval alone at the ice rink was enough for Dalisay to solidify how she felt about him. She can’t remember the last time she’s felt this happy. She even told Pinky about it, accidentally letting slip that she and Evan hooked up in a public bathroom. Pinky almost upended the board game they were playing at The Basement, she jumped to her feet so fast, overjoyed. “Yes!Get it, girl! But also—ew, gross! A bathroom?” she cried.

To keep it professional at work, she and Evan maintain their distance, but Dalisay fantasizes too often about sneaking into a broom closet somewhere and tearing his shirt off. It would be totally inappropriate, but the fantasy makes her feel naughty and sexy, and the thrill alone makes her tremble. During meetings, grocery shopping with Mom, or staying up late at night working toward deadlines, all she can do is think about what she wants to do to him, what she wants him to do to her.

No one else at work, besides Riggs, knows that they’re dating. If HR found out, it would be such a big deal, Dalisay’s head would spin.

During the week, she tries to focus on her work, to lose herself in her words, but Evan can distract her in a way only he knows how. He can give her the lightest touches on the small of her back when he moves past her that make her spine tingle or bumps his knee into hers while they’re sitting next to each other at the conference room table in a way that makes her bite the inside of her cheek to stop from smiling. He sends her emoticon texts throughout the day that say so much in so few characters. Every time times he sends her the kissy-face :-x, their new inside joke, she feels the ghosts of his lips on her skin.

Once, they crossed paths in the elevator going up to work and they spent the twenty-second ride up furiously making out, then breaking away a millisecond before the doors opened, pretending like it never happened.

It occurs to Dalisay that nothing about Evan has really changed, but she notices a slight shift in his demeanor. She doesn’t believe in auras, but she gets the sense that Evan feels more at ease, as if he too is feeling something between them that’s taken root. When he catches her eye across the office, his smile is contagious.

That Friday, Evan convinces her to take a half-day after lunch to see the Painted Ladies. It’s their first official outing as a couple.

Once they turn the corner on Steiner Street, she immediately recognizes the row of historic Victorian and Edwardian houses from countless movies and TV shows she saw growing up in Manila. Their pastel color palettes and architectural cohesion is so aesthetically pleasing, she can’t help but take a photo.

---