Page 10 of The Five Stages of Courting Dalisay Ramos

“I’m serious,” Dalisay says. “I don’t want to get hurt.”

Falling in love with the wrong person hurts, but falling in love with the right person and then losing them will hurt more. She wants to be careful because it’s the only thing she can control. A heart is a fragile thing to play with, so why is being careful with it such a bad thing?

“Right. I know,” says Nicole. “But that’s part of life.” That’s as good as Dalisay’s going to get.

But Dalisay squints at her. Something’s off. It’s not simply exhaustion from a long day at the hospital—there’s something else dragging the corners of her sister’s lips down, making her eyelids heavy, slumping her shoulders. Nicole is staring at the ceiling again.

“What’s wrong?” Dalisay asks.

Nicole sits up and says, “Nothing,” before abruptly getting up. “I’m going to get some Swedish meatballs. Come get me when you finally make up your mind!”

Nicole disappears, leaving Dalisay standing alone in a mock living room.

Dalisay keeps looking at theflurba-whatever bookcase, and the longer she looks at it, the more she realizes that maybeyes, it could work, that even if the shade of stain on the wood is a skosh too light and the height is too tall, it would suit the rest of the decor in her bedroom nicely.

Okay, maybe Nicole has an iota of a point. Dalisay is her own worst enemy. She really does play it safe with life in general. It’s called a comfort zone for a reason! It’s safe, secure, home. No one actually wants to be in adiscomfort zone. But she has to admit, she might be playing ittoosafe.

Honestly, what’s the worst that could have happened if she’d let Evan take her out for coffee? A lot, actually, now that she thinks about it—

She rolls her eyes at herself and has to physically shake the thought out of her head. This is what she always does: catastrophizes, makes mountains out of mole hills, finds every excuse not to do something. And all this time, according to Nicole, it’s been holding her back. She’s never put herself out there for fear of disappointing her family, or making them ashamed of her, or calling forth the wrath of the universe. And maybe that’s her problem.

Maybe it’s not too late to change all that. She could prove to Nicole—no, prove toherself—that she’s not stuck in her comfort zone, that she’s not afraid of life.

It’s not too late for second chances.

The next day, as thanks for dragging Nicole through IKEA, the kindest, most sisterly thing Dalisay can think to do is surprise her with some comforts of home that she got at Unimart: a couple sticks ofkarioka, sea salt and vinegar Pik-Niks, and a ride home after her shift.

With the bribes ready, Dalisay sits in her car across the street from the main entrance to Kaiser Permanente, her hands tight on the steering wheel. After all this time, being near hospitals still sets her muscles on edge, like she needs to run somewhere far away from here.

A pit hollows out in her stomach. It’s times like these, when she’s by herself with only her spiraling thoughts for company, that she starts to feel like she’s really, truly alone. She starts sorting the loose change in the cup holder to distract herself, but it only marginally helps.

She misses Manila. Mostly for what was left behind. Or rather, who. Life wasn’t the same after her dad died. But she was born and raised in Manila. It’s her home. She grew up writing her first stories in artista notebooks with her celebrity crushes’ faces on the covers, playing patintero in the street with her neighbors until the streetlights flickered on and they were all called home for dinner, or walking with Nicole to get ice cream with sprinkles after school. The food, the TV, the smells, the clothes—all of it they left behind.

Dalisay was the one person in the family who didn’t want to move in the first place.

When her older brother Daniel secured a spot at Stanford for his doctorate, her mom said it would be a wise move for everyone to go too, that it was a good opportunity for change. Everyone would stick together, including their grandmother on their father’s side. Lola is almost ninety and leaving her alone in the Philippines was out of the question. Despite not being blood related, their mom insisted. “Family stays together,” she said. They would all take care of her, just like she cared for her son. No one disagreed.

Her father had only been dead for three months but packing up the house and moving to America without him felt wrong, like they were abandoning him somehow. He used to tell them America was a land of opportunity, that it was a place they could thrive. But how could any of them thrive without him?

Dalisay had been terrified. She would have to start her whole life over. What if she didn’t make any friends? What if she couldn’t find a job? What if she hated it? But she never told her mom about her anxiety. It took them a whole year to organize, and in all that time, she never spoke up about it once. It’s Dalisay’s weakness; she would rather die than be a burden to someone else.

The only person she told was Nicole, who of course kept it a secret, but assured her that so long as they were together, they could get through anything.

Six months on and that promise still holds up. Dalisay knows she’s scared of change, but she couldn’t have gotten through it if it wasn’t for Nicole. While Dalisay may be choosy with who she loves romantically, she’s not choosy when it comes to family. She would do anything for them.

Across the street, the sliding glass doors of the hospital open and Dalisay spots Nicole. She’s about to honk the horn to get her attention when she notices Nicole is holding hands with someone. Not just someone—a woman.

Dalisay doesn’t recognize her. She’s tall, with curls of auburn hair, and she wears scrubs just like Nicole. They look like they’re taking a stroll through the park, laughing and smiling, and it takes Dalisay a second to realize that Nicole hasn’t looked this happy in years. She’s practically glowing.

Like dancers at a ball, Nicole pulls the woman toward her, smiling slyly, and swoops her in for a kiss.

It’s like something out of a movie, and all Dalisay can do is watch, shocked.

They pull apart, smiling and looking deeply into each other’s eyes before going their separate ways, glancing back at each other one last time.

It appears that love has found one of the perpetually single sisters after all.

CHAPTER FOUR

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