I answer right away.
jasmindls: Outside my house. I’ll come out to your car.
When we get home, I tell Dad that Royce is heading over and I’m going to meet him out front, because he and I need to talk. Dad knows I mean business, so he doesn’t argue. He’s tired anyway from getting up so early to drive buses. I can see it on his face. He’s weighed down by the upcoming hearing. I don’t even want to know what Daddy and Mommy are going through. When I get home, I get out and hug him, then lean against the car and wait for Royce.
* * *
When Royce arrives, he unlocks the passenger door so that I can open it. When I get inside, I notice that his hair is messy, and he looks like a little boy in his navy hoodie sweatshirt and long khaki shorts—like he’s wearing a school uniform. He’s sitting behind the wheel, staring out the windshield at our garage door as I climb in. I want to hold his hand, but I’m not sure if he’ll let me.
“So now you know the big secret,” he says dully. “They’re dating.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? Is that why you haven’t been around?”
He shakes his head. “No, it’s not. Although, I guess that’s part of it.” He keeps staring out the windshield and doesn’t look at me. “I told Mason to back off, that Kayla had a boyfriend, but he never listens to me. And he likes a challenge. He got her number at the party somehow, and she started coming over. She asked me not to tell you. She said you’d hate her for not telling you first.”
“Huh.” I’m not sure I would hate Kayla, but she knows I don’t like Mason. I’m sure she didn’t want to hear me disapprove.
“So I didn’t tell you. And I was embarrassed about Mason. I hate that I brought him to the party and into your life, that he said those things to you, that he gave those little losers the idea to jump your brother.”
I don’t say anything. I look down at my raggedy fingernails, which have been bitten to the quick ever since we broke up.
“But that’s not really why I haven’t been around.” He takes a deep sigh. “I’ve been avoiding you because I’ve been interning for my dad since after Christmas break,” he says.
“You have? But why? I know you didn’t want to. You said it would be the worst,” I say, confused.
“Yeah, that’s why I couldn’t face you. I knew you’d think I was weak, and I couldn’t stand it if you did,” he says, a catch in his voice.
I recall what he’d said during our fight.I’m not perfect. You always have such high expectations. It’s hard to meet them sometimes.
I don’t say anything; I just listen.
He continues. “I thought if I gave in and did what he wanted me to do, he would feel better about helping you when I asked him to. That it would be easier to get his support.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s a congressman, Jas, I don’t think you understand how powerful he is. He really could help you. He could help your family,” Royce says intently.
“So let me get this straight—you’ve been avoiding me because you’re interning for him, and you’re interning for him because you think it might help me?”
“Yeah, that’s pretty much it. I know, it sounds messed up.” He gnaws on his thumbnail. We have the same bad habits. “But also because it was easier to say yes. I was tired of fighting him. I didn’t want you to think I was a coward. I’m not like you. You always go after what you want. I thought you would be ashamed of me, that I caved so easily.”
“I wouldneverbe ashamed of you,” I say. “I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t tell me, and that you would give up your own dreams to try and help with mine. But you don’t have to do that. I didn’t ask you to.”
“Yeah, well.” He shrugs.
“I have something to tell you too. The deportation trial’s coming up.”
He turns and looks at me directly for the first time. I liked looking at his profile, but this is much better. “It is? You never told me!” he says, his eyes flashing.
“I know. I was mad, so I kept it from you.”
“So when is it?”
I tell him. It’s so soon. Too soon.
“Is it too late to get my dad involved?” he asks.
“I think so.”