Page 93 of Something in Between

“Sometimes,” he admits.

“Sorry, but I guess expecting someone to be around for me when they say they care about me is too high an expectation for you,” I snap.

I look over at the park bench, where both mothers jerk their heads back down, realizing I’ve caught them watching us. Great. Now the neighborhood mommy circle will be gossiping about our fight all afternoon.

I decide to play hardball. “So why are you here? Are you back in town from D.C.? Or were you in Malibu? Don’t tell me, you went to New York for the week,” I curl my lip. “You’re always somewhere, but I never know where. But that’s okay, because you don’t have that problem, do you? You know where I am, where I’ll be. I’m just right here. Right where you can find me. That is, until they kick me out.”

Royce looks down at sneakers. Adidas Sambas that I picked out for him. Seeing them twists a knife in my belly.

“Jas, I haven’t been out of town. Like I told you already, I’ve just been under a lot of family pressure,” he says. “And hanging out with Mason and stuff.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Yeah, I have family too, you know. You’re not the only one with family,” he says unhappily.

“Don’t talk to me about family!”

He holds up his hands, frustrated, like he can’t do anything right with me at the moment, and he’s correct. He can’t.

“So that’s it? That’s your big excuse?” I say.

“What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know. I just wish you’d tell me what’s really going on.” Then I realize—he did tell me, but I have to read between the lines. He’s been spending time with Mason. Mason doesn’t like me, and when he hangs out with Mason, he can’t hang out with me.

Royce runs his fingers through his dark hair and pulls at the roots. “I’m trying. I hate this. I hate what’s happening to us.”

“Then stop it,” I plead. “Just please, tell me the truth. Mason doesn’t like me. That’s it, isn’t it? He wants you to break up with me. He doesn’t think I’m good enough for you.”

“I told you, I don’t care what Mason thinks!” Royce says hotly. But he doesn’t deny it either.

“But it’s not just him, is it? It’s your parents too. They don’t think you should date me. You keep saying you’re under a lot of family pressure. Family pressure to let me go, isn’t that it?”

“No. No, that’s not it.No!” Royce says, a little desperately.

“Oh, come on, Royce, just admit your parents don’t think I’m good enough for you! You’re too embarrassed to take me to your dad’s events, and your mom thinks I’m practically the maid!”

“Whoa,what?” Now it’s his turn to be furious. “You’re crazy. Just the other day I overheard my mom telling Maria how much she likes you. And you know I hate those things my dad drags me to—why would I inflict the torture on you?”

“Your mom told Maria she likes me?” I blink.

“Yeah. She said she thinks you’re really smart, and that you work so hard.”

I go over what he said about how he hates being part of his father’s political social life, and I have to grudgingly admit he might be telling the truth about that too.

“Yeah,” he says, then gets angry again. “Wait, you really think that’s what my family is like? That they would think those things about you? God, you must think so little of us if you do. So little ofme.”

If I’d started to feel a little mollified before, the rage comes roaring back. He doesnotget to win this one. He’s the one in the wrong. “Oh, come on, it’s not like you think much of my family either. Just a bunch of amusing ethnic people you don’t take seriously,” I say, practically spitting out the words. “You must feel so proud of yourself for being so liberal andopen-minded.” I’m a cyclone of fury and will stop at nothing until he is utterly destroyed.

He’s just staring at me, but I’m not done.

“And what about me, huh? I’m just some booty call you can pick up with when it suits you! I’m your last priority, but what does it matter, right? I’m just some illegal! Isn’t that what you called me?”

He’s gray and quiet now, and everything is awful. I can feel it. It’s ruined. Something beautiful is ruined between us.

He’s tired—I can see that now—so tired, and I’m exhausted too.

“If you really think I’m that kind of person, then maybe we should break up,” he says finally, without any emotion at all.

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