Page 110 of Something in Between

We get out of the car and walk along the park. Finally Royce speaks first. “Did you do it? It doesn’t make sense that anyone else would.”

I suddenly don’t feel like walking. “Did I do what?”

“Leak the story.”

“What’s wrong with you? Why would I do that? This is obviouslyhorriblefor my family.” Does he really think I would do such a thing? How can he? It’s like I don’t know him at all right now.

Also, is it wrong that I want to slap him?

“I don’t know,” he says, frustrated. “To get attention, thinking it would somehow help generate sympathy for your family. Maybe the private-bill route wasn’t going fast enough for you.” He runs his fingers through his hair.

“That’s ridiculous,” I say. “ThePoliticoarticle trashed my family in about five different ways. I didn’t even bother with the one onFox News. According to them we’re worse than criminals.”

“I can’t figure this out,” he says, making a poor attempt to hide his anger. “You know, if you would have just let me help you from the beginning, this wouldn’t have happened. Now my dad is hated even more by Representative Schilling and his goon squad.”

I feel my face getting flushed. I hate yelling, so I try to stay calm, though my heart races. “Are you serious right now? All you care about is your dad? What about my family? What’s going to happen to us? You think your father’s career is going to end over this? It’s ablipfor him. But for me and my family? It’ll change our entirelives.”

I want to throw something at him but there’s nothing but rocks and I don’t want to hurt himthatbadly. “I didn’t do anything, Royce,” I say. “Remember, I’m the one who’s going to get kicked out of the country.”

“You’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry, I’m upset, I wasn’t thinking.”

“So it’s over, isn’t it? The private bill?” I want to cry but I’m also furious.

“It’s dead,” he says dully. “Jas, this is politics. When things go south you have to abandon ship. My dad did what he had to do.” He rumples his hair in frustration. “I just don’t understand how anyone found out. The only people who know about this are my family and yours.”

“It wasn’t my family.”

“Well, it wasn’t mine,” he says back.

“Are you embarrassed that the article exposed our relationship?” I ask angrily. The piece made us sound so tawdry, like I was only dating him so that I could get my hands on a green card. It made me feel dirty.

“No, of course not! I love you!” he yells.

“I love you too!” I yell back.

We’re both red-faced. Royce bends his head down. “Jas, I’m so sorry. Of course it wasn’t you. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m just scared right now.”

“Me too,” I say, going to him. “I’m sorry too.”

He curses emphatically.

“What do we do now?” I wail. I’m so angry about America and its toxic politics, its public servants who are supposed to help their constituents but only care about reelection.

“We’ll figure it out,” he says. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“You keep saying that, but it doesn’t mean it’s true.”

“I’llmakeit true,” he says.

We hold each other as if we’ll never let go. Deportation is getting more real every day. Somehow I see beyond the Stoney Point rocks in front of us to a mirage of a coastline in the South China Sea, in Manila Bay.

Six thousand miles away from the one I love, and the one who loves me back.

37

Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself.

Go forward and make your dreams come true.

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