Page 54 of Something in Between

Also, on Tuesday evening, the House of Representatives fails to pass the immigration reform bill.

I’m watching the news with my family, stunned. We’d been counting on that bill passing, and now it feels like yet another nail in the coffin. Worse, it failed largely because of Mr. Blakely’s leadership. I feel sick to my stomach. How can I see Royce and his family without thinking of the bill and freaking out about it in front of them? I need to tell him the truth about my situation, but I’m too scared.

I was stupid to think that the bill would ever pass with the way politics are right now.

I’m sitting next to Mom and we’re holding each other, staring as a dumb furniture store commercial blasts from the television.

Dad sighs.

“It’ll be okay,” I tell Mom, who’s dangerously close to crying.

“What’s wrong?” Danny asks.

He and Isko are confused about why we’re all devastated by the announcement. They’re concerned about Mom. No one really quite knows what to do when she gets upset. I’ve seen her this way only a few times in my life.

“We’re not supposed to be here,” Mom chokes out.

“What do you mean? In this house?” Isko asks.

His eyes are watering. I don’t think he’s seen Mom so upset before either. “Come here, Koko,” I say, holding out my arms.

He comes to me like he did when he was a toddler, and I throw out my arms around him, hugging him as tight as I can.

Danny is usually the levelheaded one, but he starts to raise his voice. “What do you mean we’re not supposed to be here?”

Mom sniffles. “We’re undocumented. We’re not supposed to be in the United States. We’re here illegally. We have been for a long time.”

“I thought we had green cards? What are you talking about? You lied to us!” Danny shouts.

“Don’t talk to your mother that way,” Dad says.

“It’s not his fault,” I say. “We should have told him sooner.”

Danny stands up from the couch. “Youknew?”

I nod. “I’m sorry, Danny.” I think about trying to explain to him that I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want him to worry, but then I realize I’m being a hypocrite. That’s the same reason Mom and Dad gave me when I found out.

“What’s going to happen to us? We can’t leave LA!” Danny yells. “I don’t want to go back to the stupid Philippines!”

I can tell that Dad’s about to send Danny to his room, but he stomps off anyway. As the news starts up again, Isko starts asking a million questions that I barely know how to answer.

He looks at me. “Does that mean we’re going to jail?”

“No, Isko,” Dad says. He’s annoyed. “They don’t put you in jail.”

“Does that mean we’re criminals? Are we bad people?”

My heart is breaking for my brothers. I have no idea how I would have handled this at their age. I probably would have gone completely off the deep end.

I shake my head. “I don’t think so. Do you think you’re a bad person?”

Isko smiles a little. “Only when I play mean pranks on Danny...”

“I don’t think you’re a bad person,” I say. “We’re not criminals either.”

Mom shakes her head. “I hate this. We wanted to do things right. We came here on legitimate work visas, but when they expired we couldn’t find jobs that would sponsor us.” She looks at me pleadingly. “What were we supposed to do? Pick up you three and move you back to Manila? You’d already been through so much. And Dad and I figured out a way to stay. We survived. We made a life here. A good life. Isn’t that worth something?”

I let go of Isko and turn to give Mom a hug. “It’s okay, Mommy. We’re not mad at you. Danny’s not mad at you. He’s just hurt.”

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