Page 103 of David's Love

He runs his hand over the back of his neck and lets out a long exhale.

“I’ll be straight with you. She’s changed my life in many ways. We were so truthful in how we felt for each other but also ignorant when it came to life, and therefore, we had no idea that feelings were like butterflies. Beautiful and short-lived. We couldn’t imagine living without each other. So…” he says and smiles, saddened. “We wanted to build a life together. The problem was that we had no means to do that. I came from a modest background, and she was just like me. We started to work as soon as we graduated, but we both knew it wouldn’t be enough to lay the foundation for a good life. A friend told me about serving in the military, and I thought it was a good idea. After a few years of sacrifices, we could have the life we wanted.”

He pauses before he goes on.

“She liked my idea, and off I went.”

He sucks in a long breath and sighs.

“The first year was hard. But I came back, and our love seemed stronger than ever. I wanted to propose to her the next time I came back… And then…”

His face turns dark.

“I came back…” he murmurs, looking down, engulfed in memories. “And, um… Things were no longer the same. I figured the distance hadn’t done us any favors. It changed her. And maybe it changed me. She was no longer the girl I used to know, and then I realized… She was no longer mine. Back then, I couldn’t understand how these things could even happen. Frankly, I’m not better at explaining them even now. I guess a storm can grow out of a clear sky. You don’t always see the signs. And sometimes, there are no signs.”

He shrugs.

“No matter how great we were together, once she started to look for something else, I was no longer her perfect match. That’s what she said anyway. She wanted something different. How she defined that was anyone’s guess. It didn’t matter, anyway. I was not what she was looking for.”

He ponders for a second.

“With that, my world came crashing down, and I got caught under the rubble. I was in a daze for days, weeks, and even months. I couldn’t make sense of her story. She wanted stability––someone with money––and I was not it.”

His voice is strained as lingering pain flashes through his eyes.

“When you are ready to give everything to someone else, and through some twist of fate, they decide you aren’t good enough, your entire world shatters. Money…”

He exhales, saddened.

“I never thought money would be the end of us. I believed we were so close to reaching our dream. I was eager to make it happen. But she ran out of patience and unilaterally decidedto put an end to it. She put a ton of anger in me and left me to deal with it, regardless of how much it took me to push that fury out. And it took years…” he says, looking at me, his eyes glinting. “My marriage to Samantha was only one of the things I did for money. Everything I did was for money. Anna got engaged and married someone who was financially stable. I did the exact same thing. She didn’t care. It didn’t matter to me in the slightest. I kept going. I started to make my own money. And then I made more money. And then it became a game for me and I became a master at making money. Having that type of existence, I could afford a secret life. Samantha saw through me to a point. She knew I was more than an ambitious tycoon. But she had no idea where I came from. It didn’t make a difference to her either. What mattered to her was that I didn’t obey, so she made my life a living hell. Other than that…? You know the rest of the story. I met Rain. She was a call girl in the making, but we hit it off and became friends. Later, I learned what had brought her to Manhattan and why she was penniless when I met her. Her story resonated with me because I was her at some point in my life. My trajectory didn’t change much after she pulled away from me. My divorce was a no brainer at that stage.”

The silence grows thick in the room.

“You may be asking yourself, why am I saying all of this to you right now?” he adds, his eyes no longer on mine.

My hand warms in his grip when he tips his gaze to me.

“I’m as scared as you are,” he admits. “I don’t want something bad to happen to you. And I don’t want to have phone sex with you either. I want you in my bed. I no longer want to pay you. I want to take care of you.”

“What are you saying?” I ask, my heart racing, my hand about to escape his grip.

He holds me tighter.

“I think you know what I mean…” he murmurs, a faint smile on his face. “My biggest fear, though, is…” he goes on, searching my eyes. “You may not be where I am. And that scares me the most.”

My heart stops before galloping furiously, my brain going blank as the voice inside my head hands in her notice.

“What makes you say that?” I ask, my voice mellow.

“Let’s say some events from the past,” he says with a pinch of humor in his voice. “Plus, what you just asked me this evening.”

“That’s not why I––”

He cuts me off, his finger sliding over my lips.

“You are well within your right to ask me that,” he says. “That’s why I wanted to share this story. And just so you know, things weren’t that clear to me either, but something nagged at me this afternoon. The moments I spent in the cemetery made me admit a thing or two about myself and how I lived my life. What happened last night at your place was a wake-up call. As much as running into Samantha in New York has played a role. All these things made me see something I never thought I’d see again. I never thought I’d regard my life through a different lens. I’m regretful for many things right now, and they mostly have to do with you. I don’t want you to feel rushed and pressed into doing something you don’t want.”

The moments drip into an ocean of time.

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