Page 24 of Of Flames and Fallacies

“I don’t. But I can’t sit here, waiting and wondering. I have to try—just come with me, please.”

A muscle in Cole’s jaw flickers before he shakes his head. “Arabella and Rosetta won’t understand, they’re too young.”

“I was only a little older than Arabella when my brother died. And Rosetta is much older than I was. They’ll understand.”

“Kat, you can’t even talk about him. You can’t even say his name. I’m not going to do that to them.”

“I turned out fine.”

“Fine? I know you’re desperate to fix this. You were forced into a situation that should’ve never happened. I can’t do the same to them.”

I slip my hands from his grasp. My heart sinks, part of me wanting to give in and stay here with him. But I can’t let that part of me win.

Cole’s voice drops into a plea. “Don’t do this, please. This isn’t fair, Kat. You’re trapping me.”

“Trapping?”

If anything, I was trapped. If I stay here with him, I lose the only opportunity to save my mother. I may live the rest of my life in regret for not taking the chance. Even if it means going by myself. If my brother were still alive, he wouldn’t hesitate.

I stare at the ground as I unhook my necklace with shaky hands. “Then if you feel so trapped, I’ll make it easy for you.”

I place the necklace in his palm and turn away from him. Doubt creeps in, stalking me like a predator ready to pounce. Before Cole changes my mind, and before I stop myself…I run.

Through the forest and farther away from Cole, trees are a blur of color in my peripheral vision.

He calls my name, and when I don’t slow, his footsteps race after me. I approach the tree line, trees giving way to rollinghills stretched off into the distance. Cole catches my forearm and spins me toward him. His anguished expression floods me in guilt.

But it’s better this way. I must get my mother to Stoneshire, with or without him.

“Kat, please, I love you. Can we please talk about this? I didn’t mean it like that—”

I pull my arm out of his grasp. The unspoken meaning behind it pains me as much as it does him. I block out my emotions—this is the only way. If anyone has the power to convince me not to go, it’s him. And if I stay here a second longer, he’ll do it.

I avoid his eye contact. “Don’t touch me. Don’t talk to me again. Leave me alone.”

Without another word, I race back home. Footsteps don’t follow me, and my name isn’t called out on the wind. He respects my request.

Part of me wishes he didn’t.

eleven

NEVER BETTER

Present day.

The sun set an hour ago, the daylight faded to shadows. I’ve mapped out the military outpost from the outskirts. A crumbling stone wall encircles the outpost and beyond it are rows of tents, several fortified buildings, and collections of tables and barrels. An outlook tower faces north toward Dragon’s Back Ridge, stretching high above the rest of the settlement.

I creep closer to the outpost, my footsteps undetected in the clamor pulsing from the center of camp. Melting my body against the stone wall, I peer through a gaping hole. A group of men and women gather around a large crackling fire leaping into the night sky. My skin crawls, the flames triggering a wave of nausea inside my stomach.

A man clears his throat, and the group falls silent. “While he’s fairly new to the squad, I want to toast to our captain, Cole. With hard work and determination, anything is possible.”

The rest of the squad erupts in cheers. Cole grins, his head humbly lowered as people near him swing their mugs into his.

“To Cole!”

“Hurrah!”

The shadows accentuate each sharpened cut of his jaw. The glowing flames highlight the strong chords in his throat.

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