Page 133 of Of Flames and Fallacies

My palms itch with a nervous sweat. I can’t seem to figure out a way to decline him without making things even more awkward. I swallow hard before taking his hand and rising. Our hands break apart, and I meet him at the end of the table, my body rigid with the many sets of eyes now watching us.

“What the hell are you doing?” I hiss once we are out of earshot.

He leads me out to the dance floor, bowing before me and offering his hand to me. He mutters under his breath, “Dancing.”

I rest my hand in his, before he wraps his fingers around mine. He pulls me into him and swings the both of us off into a dance. Ihaven’t afforded myself much time to admire him. But this close and with nowhere else to look…

He’s devastatingly handsome. The breath-caught-in-your throat kind of beautiful. My heart swoons and crumples all in one swift beat. While a darkness still seeps from his eye sockets, his red locks are swept elegantly back away from his face, accentuating the curves of his cheeks and sharp nose. His beard is neatly trimmed to fit every angle of his strong jaw. Forest green fabric flatters every ridge and valley of his body. It fits him so perfectly; as a man of his brawn and height, it has to be custom tailored. Considering he’s engaged to such a wealthy aristocrat—the daughter of the King’s previous military general—it doesn’t surprise me. Perhaps when they marry, this is how he will always look. Prestigious, dressed in the finest fabrics and living in the most ornate estate. It was more than I could have ever offered him, and it hits me as hard as if I were slapped. My heart aches at the hopelessness of any reconciliation or future with him.

He spins me into him, my back pressed against his chest, and his arms wrapped around me as he sways us. His whisper brushes my ear, “This was the only way I could think of to get some alone time with you, without intruding on your personal space.”

“Oh, and this isn’t personal space?”

He twirls me out of his grasp, finishing the spin to position me face to face with him. His hand falls to my waist, the other clasping my gloved hand gently. The curve of his hand meets mine, so perfectly as if we were etched from the same block. Where I dip, he bends into me.

He peers down at me through a pained expression, his lashes dark against the warm glow of his eyes. His lips are tight, a tension in the set of his jaw. And yet, the way he sways me around the floor is done in such loose elegance, with suchconfidence and expertise, I’m wondering when he’s had the chance to practice. This wasn’t our first time dancing together. It’s a skill that catches me by surprise with each sway and step.

“I know I wronged you. I let my fear of losing you again overpower what was right, and for that I am so,sosorry, Kat. I never wanted to hurt you, I just wanted to find a solution before I told you. I thought as soon as I told you I’m engaged, you’d turn tail and run. You’d either die on the journey to the Dragon Lands, or you’d stay there. And I’d never see you again. I’d lose you all over again, for a third time. But you deserve the truth, no matter what it costs me. Even if it broke my heart. You left before you gave me the chance to explain—”

“Maybe I don’t need an explanation,” I snap. “You’re engaged. And we slept together. That’s it. There’s no further explanation needed.”

He bites into his lip, trying to conceal his misery as he shakes his head. “But it’s not that simple.”

Maybe I wanted it to be. Simple means it won’t hurt. There won’t be these dizzying questions of where my heart lies, this mind-numbing pain I’m struggling to keep at bay, or my self-doubt fogging over every thought. I allow my gaze to wander over to the table, and I am instantly snared in Darian’s gaze. He lifts his flask to me with a wink and takes a swig.

I clear my throat, turning my attention back to Cole. “It is that simple. Celeste is absolutely smitten over you. I had to spend the entire damn day with her pretending I was yoursister.Pretending I didn’t want to be the one you’re engaged to.”

Cole breathes, “You were supposed to be…”

I’m starting to get angry at how pitifully sad he looks. I don’t have it in me to carry his misery alongside my own agony. The painhecaused me. Doesn’t he realize this hurts me, too? I mask the sadness dwelling within me with anger. It’s just easier this way.

I break our eye contact and settle my gaze on anything but Cole. “Well, I’m not. And that’s something neither of us can change. I’ll take Daeja north in the next few days on my own, and I’ll be one less thing for you to worry about. You can live out the rest of your life married into a wealthy family. Your father and sisters will never have to worry about finances. You can climb the ranks of the military until you’re a general yourself.”

He blinks tears away, his hand at my waist gripping me tighter. “Please don’t. Can’t you see this is killing me? Don’t go where I can’t follow you, just give me some time to figure a way out of—”

A shadow falls across Cole’s face, and someone taps my shoulder. Cole lifts his chin and glares. With that reaction, I already know who it is.

“Mind if I cut in?” Darian’s voice is that delicious whisper of velvet.

“We do mind. We’re in the middle of something,” Cole growls.

“Actually, I don’t mind,” I blurt, weighing that in this moment, I’d prefer Darian’s agitating flirtations over Cole’s frustrating excuses.

Cole’s shoulders sag. If anything, I can always count on him to respect my wishes, even if he doesn’t agree with them. He steps back from me and gives my hand to Darian. When he walks back to the table, I catch a shimmer of defeat and longing in his amber eyes, before he masks it with indifference as he turns to Celeste.

Darian pulls me taut against him, my breath escaping my lips in an audiblewhoosh, and ripping my attention back to him.

I tilt my chin up. “Are you going to behave yourself?”

He smiles and begins to twirl us into the melody of the night. “Never.”

His hand clasps mine with such tenderness. It’s odd to pair such a soft description with him. For a moment, he looks elegantin the way his hair floats with each sway of his steps, leading me across the floor with a detached grace.

“Who knew you’d be a better dance partner than sparring partner?” he murmurs.

“Wow, Darian. Is that a hint of a compliment? You could use some work but…”

He snickers. “Don’t go expecting them of me.”

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