Page 38 of Marked Resistance

“It was.”

Oh!

“It’s also more,” he continued. “You need to learn how to tap into it. How to not rely on the flames of a fireplace, or the metal lighter you carry, but the fire in you.”

My nose wrinkled and I blinked a few times, while his words rattled around in my mind. “Come again?”

“Fire is all around us. Fireislife. You once told me people keep telling you to live. It’s because you don’t see the beauty in it. Why? Why are you holding yourself back?”

Oh.

My chest began to ache as memories returned to me as if I’d never left. “Because I burned Sarah.”

“Tell me about it.”

My throat and lungs grew sore, and the world started to spin as I pulled the images from my mind and gave them a voice. “When I first joined the elite, I had no control, driven off instinct, like she is now. I also didn’t know my ability. The one ability the vampirism virus grants us all. All the infected get an ability and it seems so random, doesn’t it? Each of the four clans seems to have one of four abilities, but I didn’t know which one of the four abilities from clan Shaye I had.

“Sarah came into the room when I was by the fireplace. She was scared by my change and I wanted nothing more than to console her, to comfort her. Even in my bloodlust, I knew one thing—I would never hurt her. I needed to protect her so she would never experience this curse. I reached out to hug her and when I did— “

“You shot the flames forward?”

“Yes. I burned her. I burned my only sister, the person I always said I’d protect. I hurt her, and now? Now, I’ve killed her. They got to her because I was all about you.”

Xavier stepped back and looked at me. For the first time since I’d known him, it appeared for an instant he’d lost control of himself.

“That’s not what I meant. I mean…you know what I mean.”

Xavier exhaled and steadied himself. “We’re going to find your sister, but first you’ve got to trust yourself.”

“How?”

“Do you trust the sun?”

I hate when he does that.

“What are you talking about, Xavier?”

“Think about it. Have youeverthought about if you trust the sun or not?”

My finger flew to my bottom lip and I rolled my eyes up. “Now that you mention it, no. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about whether I trust the sun or not.”

“Do you know why?”

“Not really, no. The sun is…the sun. It’s just there. I don’t trust it or distrust it.”

“No. You trust it, and do you know why? Because it’s there.”

I raised an eyebrow so far up my forehead I know it kissed my hairline. “Ijust saidthat.”

“It’sbecausethe sun is there that you trust it. You don’t worry about whether it’s going to rise today, or stay stuck in the sky and not set tomorrow. You trust the sun because it’s consistent.”

Oh.

“But the sunisfire, Zee. Without the sun, there would be no life. Yes, it can burn if its energy is concentrated enough, but mostly, it provides warmth and light. It feeds the plants and comforts the animals. The sun islife, Zee. The sun is fire. The fire that burns within you. It’s always there. You have to trust it to come out and focus it when you want to burn like you would the sun’s rays. Or use it to comfort and feed. How you choose to use your fire is up to you, but itisthere for you to use, whenever you want. Do you understand?”

For the first time since I discovered my Wildfire ability, I did. This was not a lesson I could learn in the training classes at Dobgar. This was a lesson I had to experience, and only with a man who truly understood what burned inside me. Xavier lost someone dear to him, as I had. He had to learn how to control his fire, as I do. He was the perfect teacher for me, and now I know why he requested me. Even after our one-night stand, he sensed I could be more. He pushed me because I had more to give. He wanted me, and I want him more now than I ever did.

“So, I’ll ask you again,” he said. “What now?”

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