Page 20 of Marked Resistance

“No,” he said with a shake. “It’s best to keep it at Zenobia.”

“Why?”

Xavier sucked in a deep breath and released it slow and strong. “Because I’m lead. If this team falls apart, that’s on me.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What does that have to do with calling me, Zee?”

Xavier slowed his steps. I matched and watched as Grim and Ilanis disappeared up the path ahead of us. “We had a moment, Zee…Zenobia. A veryintensemoment.”

“Yes.”

“If I call you Zee, it’ll soften me towards you, and remind me of what we shared.”

My head flinched back slightly. “So?”

“So that could lead to me making the wrong decision in the heat of battle. I’m lead, Zenobia. I can’t afford to be distracted.”

“So, I’m a distraction?”

“You are more than a distraction. You’re a weakness.”

“Fuck you, Xavier.” I glared at him and stormed up the path. I only got a few steps ahead before a strong hand grabbed my arm from behind and held me in place.

“No, that’s not what I mean,” Xavier sighed.

I looked at his hand on my arm and he released his grip.

“See?” He asked and we continued walking together. “Even now the words aren’t coming to me in the right way. Imagine for a moment what could happen if our lives were in the balance.”

“I trust you,” I told him, unsure why the words fell from my mouth.

“Thanks, but I have to stay clear-headed. I have to remind myself you are a soldier under my watch, and I have to fight the desire to fuck the shit out of you at any opportunity.”

“Oh.”

The way he laid it out there, made me bite my lip.

“I can’t do it,” he continued. “If I’m constantly desiring your body then I’m not thinking with my head.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“Wrong head. I need to think with the one up here, not the one down there. Can you understand that?”

“I think so,” I answered, fighting back a whimper.

“You’re not weak, Zenobia. You’re just untrained.”

“I went through training, and I’ve seen combat. Fuck you.”

“Are you still fingering your lighter?”

I cleared my throat. “You know about that?”

“I do. Because I used to do it too.”

“You’re a Wildfire?” I gasped.

“You didn’t know?”

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