Page 146 of The Problem with Players

“Shame kink,” I joked. “Seriously, though, Avery…I’ve felt broken before, too. I had a lot of people who didn’t show me grace, but I had plenty who did. It’s what we all desire in life?—

a few moments of grace as we walk through the darkness.”

“I’m not sure what I have to offer you right now,” she confessed, shame written all over her face.

“Just be my friend, Coach. I don’t need anything else. All I need is for you to feel better. All I care about is you walking down that path of healing, and all I want to do is walk that path right there beside you. If that means we are only friends, then that’s more than enough for me.”

“Swear?” she whispered, looking up at me.

“Swear.”

“Can I give you a hug?”

“Always.”

She fell into me, wrapping her arms around me. I held her close. I’d hold her for as long as she needed me to do so.

“And don’t worry about the journey to healing, Ave. It’s okay to go slow,” I swore.

“Go slow,” she echoed with a nod. “I think that’s what I need to do. I need to go slow.”

“Take your time.”

“I know I don’t deserve it, but…” She stepped away and gave me a small, broken smile. “Thank you for walking with me.”

I grinned back. “My favorite steps yet.”

We did exactly as we said we would do, too—we went slow.

45

NATHAN

JUNE

In June, we met on the baseball diamond twice a month for our OSS meetings. We caught up on things, and Avery mentioned the bad reality shows she was watching. I started watching them, too, so I’d have even more to discuss with her the next few times we’d spoken. It turned out that I loved bad reality shows. I spent a whole weekend binge-watchingThe Traitors. I couldn’t stop myself if I wanted to.

I stopped working so much, too. I allowed myself to sit with my thoughts more. Figured if Avery was working on herself, I should take a page out of her book, too.

“Should I be worried about you today?” I asked her after we finished hitting around balls on the field. I walked Avery to her car and opened the driver's door.

She climbed inside, smiled, and shook her head. “No. Not today.”

“Happy?”

“Happy.”

“Good. See you in two weeks, Coach.”

46

AVERY

JULY

In July, Nathan and I not only spent time at our twice a month OSS meetings, but we texted one another a lot more, too.

Nathan

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