Page 154 of The Problem with Players

Then his brothers came over, demanding some of the cheesecake.

That was when I realized how much I’d missed it.

I missed the taste of his lips against mine.

51

NATHAN

DECEMBER

The farmland was covered in snow when the holiday season rolled around. Like all the years prior, we hosted a big Christmas Eve party in the barn. Holiday music blasted through the speakers, and eggnog was poured at remarkable speeds as the spirit of the season took over in full force.

I wandered off to the horse stables to get a few breaths of air. For the most part, I did okay with Avery’s and my friendship. Over the past few months, we’d become professionals at taking it slow, but I had to admit, a big part of me wanted to pull her under some mistletoe and place my mouth against hers.

I missed her kisses.

I missed holding her.

I missed her.

The version of her when she was mine.

Sure, we had this newfound friendship, but I couldn’t help but wish it was more.

I figured I’d always want more with that woman. She was the only thing I couldn’t get enough of.

“Walking off the eggnog?” a voice said, breaking me from my thoughts.

I turned to see my mother standing in the doorframe of the stables with a smile on her face. Her arms were crossed over her large puffer jacket as she walked toward me. She gently nudged me in the arm. “Or are you overthinking things?”

I gave her a smile. “Me? Overthink? Psh. Never.”

She frowned and shook her head. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“Sorry? For what?”

“For not seeing how much pressure your father put on you.”

I narrowed my eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“I had a heart-to-heart with your brother Evan. Lord knows how much eggnog it took for him to open up. You know that boy’s stubborn with his feelings. But he told me he was scared about being a father again. Then he told me about a conversation you and he had on Halloween.”

“Oh…that.”

“Yes. That. Sweetheart…” Her eyes were packed with emotion. “Were all the choices you made back then an outcome of what went down between you and your father the night he passed?”

I hesitated to reply because it didn’t matter anymore. “That was a long time ago.”

“Still…it matters.”

“Why would it matter?”

“Because it would mean you gave up your life to save this farm. A farm that wasn’t your dream.”

“This place is home to me, Mom. We would’ve lost everything.”

“And we would’ve found something new.” She placed a comforting hand against my cheek. “You’ve done more than enough for this family, Nathan. You’ve saved enough people. Now it’s time for you to put yourself first. It’s time for your life totake flight. And I am so sorry that I didn’t notice the way your father was with you. I was too lost in the ways he was hurting me that I didn’t even know that he was doing the same to my boys.”

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