We couldn’t.
“Nathan…” I whispered.
He gave me a sad smile as if he could read my thoughts. “I know,” he said softly. “Me too, Coach. Me too.” He then moved in and gave me another hug, holding me close to his chest. He kissed my forehead and whispered, “I miss you so much it’s hard to breathe.”
Then he let me go.
He let me go and celebrated with the rest of the team as if his heart wasn’t breaking, too. I didn’t know what to expect because I told him to do that. I told him to stay away, and he did what I’d asked.
But my breathing was suffering, too. I knew exactly what he meant when he said those words to me. Because, without him, it was so hard to breathe.
After the game,the team headed off to celebrate with a late night of pizza at the hotel where we were staying. I told them I’d join later on, but first, I needed to take in the moment on the field now that it was cleared out. I needed to come down from the busyness of the day and take it all in by myself.
Though it turned out I wasn’t alone.
“Way to go, Coach K,” a voice said from the stands.
I turned to see my father sitting there. The crowd was gone, and the only things remaining were the floodlights on the field and my father in the stands.
“Not too bad, huh?” I said with a smirk.
“I like Nathan,” he stated, throwing me completely off-kilter.
“What?”
“I said, I like Nathan.”
“Are you about to give me a father-daughter talk?” I asked as I walked over to the stands to join him.
“I’m about to give you a father-daughter talk.” He patted the empty spot beside him, and I took a seat. He turned his stare back to the field. “Do you remember when your mother and I used to take Yara and you to the baseball field for family time?”
I laughed. “Yeah. She and Yara would sit up here making artwork while you and I hit balls on the field.”
“Those are some of my favorite memories.”
“Me too. You’re the one who made me fall in love with the game.”
“You’re the one who made me stay in love with it,” he expressed, clasping his hands together and resting them in his lap. “I like Nathan,” he repeated.
I sighed. “Yeah. I heard that the first time.”
“You like him, too,” he said, certain. “You love him.”
I blinked a few times. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Baby girl, love has to do witheverything.” He stared forward and shook his head slightly. “I don’t know much about life. I’m a simple man who does construction and enjoys a good beer on Friday nights. But there are so many complicated things in life that I don’t know much about. But I do know about love. I think love is the reason we humans decided to come to this damn planet in the first place.”
“If that’s true, then we’re stupid. It’s stupid,” I countered.
He arched an eyebrow. “You think love is stupid?”
“Yes,” I confidently said. “Because if we came for love, then why wouldn’t we come solely for love and love alone? If we only came for love, then why is there so much hurt, too?” I shook myhead and shut my eyes. “Because all the hurt in the world seems so much louder than love. It feels more as if we humans came here to suffer. To break.”
“You don’t really believe that, do you?”
I shrugged. “Sometimes. Because if it was all about love…” My voice cracked as I rubbed my hands against my legs. “Then why would this world allow a little girl to lose her mother? Why are there children suffering, wars, violence, pain? There’s so much pain, Daddy,” I cried, placing my hand over my chest. “There’s so much hurt. Why would we do this? Why would we come for love but then make hearts that could break so easily?”
“I think you’re confusing the opposite of love with hurt.”