“Are you sure that’s what you want?” I asked. “I don’t want to let you go. Not again. I’m trying to love you, Avery.”
“I know.” She nodded, a few tears rolling down her cheeks. There it was again—her truth.
“Then let me.”
“I can’t,” she murmured.
“Why not?”
She turned her lips up into the saddest smile I’d ever witnessed. I never knew a smile could break a heart until that very moment. She shook her head slightly and shrugged hershoulders. “Because how can you love me when I don’t even know how to love myself?”
Fucking hell.
How could seeing her broken, struggling heart so easily shatter my own?
“Avery—”
She pulled her arm away from my hold and wiped her tears, shaking her head. “Please, Nathan? Can we just make it through the rest of the season and then move on?”
No.
I wanted to fight with her. I wanted to tell her that she was being irrational and that she shouldn’t have allowed the demons in her head to keep her from being loved, but I knew how it was to be so deep in the darkness that you thought you didn’t even deserve the slightest touch of love. I hated that she felt that way. I hated that there was nothing I could do to help her shift those dark thoughts filtering through her mind. So I did the only thing I could think of doing at that very moment.
I gave her the space she’d requested.
“Okay,” I agreed.
“Thank you,” she muttered, a small sigh of relief rippling through her words.
She started for the door, and I called out one last time. “Hey, Coach?”
“Yes?” she asked, looking over her shoulder.
“We’ll get our boys to state and win. I’ll be the best assistant coach for you. You have my full commitment to this team. I also won’t bring us up again,” I promised. “I get it. You’re done, so I’m done. We’re done. There’s no going back for us, so let’s just make it through the rest of the season.”
My words landed against her, and it looked as if they broke her heart. Which, in turn, broke my own. Because that was how our two hearts worked—when hers broke, mine shattered.
“What doyou mean she’s gone?” Easton asked as he and my other brothers sat on my front porch, confused as ever as to why Avery wouldn’t be joining the Sunday game. I wasn’t going to play, either. I wasn’t up for that shit.
“I mean exactly what I said. She’s gone. She left on Monday,” I told them.
“On Monday?!” River hollered, tossing his hands in the air. “How have you gone a week without telling us Avery was gone?”
“I didn’t figure it was worth mentioning,” I said as I headed for my car. “I won’t be playing today. I got too much stuff to take care of.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, pause, time-out!” Grant shouted, chasing me. “You can’t just tell us you lost the love of your life and leave it at that.”
“Don’t be so dramatic, Grant. I thought that was Easton’s job,” I muttered.
“But she is,” Easton said, walking toward us. He leaned against my driver’s door, blocking my entrance. “She is the love of your life.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes shit doesn’t work out in life,” I barked. “Now move, Easton.”
“No,” he said, standing stern. “Not until you get Avery back.”
“Easton,” I growled. “Move before I move you.”
Grant shot over and stood beside Easton. “You’ll have to move me, too.”