Page 115 of The Problem with Players

I laid my head against his shoulder as he walked me to his bathroom. The room was dark, and I appreciated that. Only a few candles glowed as he placed me down on my feet. He began to undress me slowly, pulling my T-shirt over my head before he took off my sweatpants. He removed my bra and panties without taking his stare away from my eyes. There was nothing sexual about the interaction, but the heavy level of intimacy filled me up. He then removed his own clothing. For a few seconds, we stood completely naked. I should’ve felt exposed, but instead, I felt safe. Protected. Free to be broken within his realm.

Nathan took my hands into his and led me to the tub. He helped me step in first, then he stepped into the tub behind me. His body wrapped around mine, and I fell into him as if he were the safety net I needed. He reached for the bath soap andwashcloth as I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. He began to clean my body all over, the warmth of the water feeling like a balm to my soul. He didn’t speak, and I was thankful for the silence as he washed us both from head to toe. After a while, he let the water drain from the tub and turned on the overhead shower. He then washed my hair as we remained sitting in the tub.

Water crystals rolled down my cheeks as I kept my eyes shut the whole time. Nathan’s hands massaged my scalp, getting the conditioner deep into the roots. As he rinsed it out, I wondered if he noticed my falling tears intermixing with the shower water flowing down my face.

If he did, he didn’t say a word. Instead, he just made sure I was clean from head to toe.

When we finished, he shut off the water and climbed out of the tub. He wrapped a towel around his waist and retrieved two more towels from his towel warmer. He helped me stand and wrapped a towel around my body, then took another and wrapped it around my hair.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

He smiled in reply before he lifted me into his arms and carried me back to my bedroom. He set me down on the edge of my bed, went into my drawers, and pulled out clean panties for me to slip into.

He held them beneath my feet and slid them up my body. He then went to my bathroom and grabbed my lotions from the counter. Without thought, he knelt in front of me and began to lotion me up from the tip of my toes all the way up to my neck. Every inch of me was moisturized. As his hands rolled over my breasts, I let out a small breath. The care he took was almost overwhelming.

He then left the room for a few moments. When he came back, he was wearing sweatpants and no shirt. He held a blowdryer and an oversized T-shirt of his. He slipped the T-shirt over my shoulders and then plugged in the blow dryer.

I removed the towel from my hair, and he sat behind me, placing me between his thighs, and dried it. My back brushed against his rock-hard abs as he did so, holding me in place.

Once he finished, he unplugged the blow dryer.

I figured he was done, but he headed back to my bathroom and grabbed my toothbrush along with a glass cup.

“Open,” he said. I parted my lips, and he began to brush my teeth for me. After he finished, he held the glass up to my mouth and said, “Spit.”

I spat out the paste in my mouth. He then headed back to the bathroom, rinsed out the glass, and came back.

He gave me that same lazy grin. “Can I hold you again?”

“Please do.”

He climbed into bed with me and wrapped me in his arms. He didn’t ask me to talk. He didn’t ask me to be okay. He didn’t ask me for anything. All he did was hold me.

And there it was…

My beam of light.

He stayed with me the whole day, feeding me meals, lying with me on the couch, and watching movies that I didn’t pay attention to because I was too invested in looking at him. Whenever I looked at him, he was looking at me.

He asked me if I needed anything every second our eyes locked, and I’d shake my head and whisper a “no.” He’d then give me his lazy smile, and I’d feel that smile vibrate against my heartbeat.

When nightfall came, he carried me to my bedroom. I lay in his arms as he kissed my forehead again before closing his eyes.

“Nathan?”

“Yeah?” he whispered, eyes still closed, halfway asleep.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Being my sunbeam today.”

His tired eyes flickered open and locked with mine. His lips turned up in an exhausted grin, and he brushed them gently against mine, giving me the tiniest kiss that felt so big before he fell asleep.

I fell asleep, too, in his arms.

When I woke up, he was still there, holding me in his arms.

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