“It means you’ve got responsibilities. You’re the one who’s gotta look after Summer from now on. You’ve got to be there for her, no matter what happens. You two stick together, always. It won’t be easy, but you’re the one she’ll need. You’re her big brother. That’s your job—protect her, always.”
He swallowed thickly, his hands shaking as he nodded, but after a beat he flung himself into my arms. “Don’t go!” he sobbed. “We need you. I need you. I can’t do this without you. You’re all I’ve ever known. Please… don’t leave us, Damian.”
I hesitated before wrapping my arm around him, not knowing what to say.
“Don’t cry, Raleigh,” I muttered gruffly. “You’re the man now. You gotta keep it together.”
He pulled back just enough to look at me, tears streaking his face. “I—I don’t want you to leave, Damian. You’re the only one who’s ever cared for us.”
Swallowing hard, I stepped back abruptly.
His small face scrunched up in pain. The pressure in my chest increased.
I turned my attention to Summer.
She was standing just a few feet away, her eyes red and chin wobbling. Her hands were clasped tightly in front of her chest, her whole body trembling.
She was always full of life—bouncing around, laughing, making everyone around her smile. But right now, that light in her eyes was dimming, and I could see it in her body language. She wasn’t holding it together.
I walked over to her slowly.
Her lower lip trembled as she bit back a sob. “Why… why does everyone I love always leave me, Damian?” Her voice cracked as the tears started to fall. “First my mom… and now you…”
Her words hit me hard. My throat tightened.
“I have to,” I say quietly.
She shook her head again, crying harder now. “But why, Damian? Why do you have to go?”
She wrapped her arms around my waist, her tears soaking through my t-shirt. I remained motionless. I wasn’t good at this—never had been. I cared for her, but I didn’t know how to show it.
She pulled back slightly, looking up at me with wide, tear-filled eyes. “Will you come back for us? Or... or write to us?”
I didn’t answer right away. I could feel the tension in my chest, the lump in my throat, as I tried to find the right words, but it was hard. But I find myself agreeing. “I will.”
She nodded then, trying to smile through her pain. She sniffled, wiping her eyes, but her tears didn’t stop. She pulled me into a tight hug again, holding me like she was never going to let go.
“Damian,” she whimpered against me. “Don’t forget us.”
I shut my eyes for a second, reining in my emotions. There was nothing I could say that would make this easier.
I wanted to say something, anything, to make her feel better, but the words didn’t come. All I could do was stand there, my hands hovering awkwardly by my sides, torn between wanting to console her and not knowing how.
Raleigh came running, crashing into my side. My arms started to curl around them, but just as I was about to pull them in, Mrs. Samson’s voice cut through the air. “Damian!”
I pulled away abruptly and shouldered my backpack.
The sleek black car pulled up and I didn’t look back as I made my way toward it, my legs feeling like lead.
I slid inside. Then I finally allowed myself to glance out the window at their direction. And there they were. The two of them, standing still for a moment. But the moment they saw my eyes on them, they started running. Their small, desperate legs pumping with all their might, trying to reach me, trying to stop me from leaving.
As the car began to speed, I turned back to watch them through the rear windshield. And what I saw shattered my heart, their hands were stretched out in vain as they ran after the car. their figures growing smaller and smaller with each passing second, until they disappeared completely from view.
I promised I’d come back. I meant it. But life… life was never kind enough to allow me that happiness.
I failed them, just like I always fail the ones I love.
Chapter Fifty