Page 208 of My Ruthless Neighbor

I bite on my lip hard until I taste metal. “Give me my son back. Please.”

I open my eyes and find her sobbing with her hands clasped in front of her as she begs.

“Please release my son of the years of guilt. I beg you.” She crushes her joined hands to her lips and sobs.

I make a guttural sound and take her in my arms.

We needed this. After Amy died, I shut down everyone. I never discussed her with my parents ever. Because it hurt too much.

And now while it hurts just the same, I also feel free. I feel like I could breathe again. The restlessness gone as I let out all the grief.

For the first time in years, I feel ready to consider forgiving myself. It won’t be happening overnight. But it’s a start. I am willing to try. For my parents. For Summer. For Hannah and Raleigh and each person that cares for me. And last but not least, for myself.

It’s a long journey. Of letting go and self-forgiveness. But I’m willing to commit. Because I can’t let Summer go. I need her too much. I want to be the man that would love her. Cherish her. Kiss her. Hold her when she’s down. Smile with her when she’s happy. I want to be one of the colors she loves so much. And this time, I’m ready to fight for it.

Chapter Forty-Two

“Smile!” I snap a picture of me and Goldie with the cute pink polaroid camera I bought a few days ago. Removing the ejected film from the slot, I wait for it to develop.

When the picture appears, I smile and hold it up so Goldie could see too. “Not bad. It’s a bit time consuming but these photos are super cute! Aren’t they?” I waggle my eyebrows at him.

He looks so adorable in his winter booties and red scarf around his neck that I ignore his judgy stare. But when he keeps staring at me like that, I break. “Don’t look at me like that!” I pout. “All right. It was pretty irresponsible of me to forget my phone back in the chalet but you were in such a hurry to go out.”

As soon as he hears the words “go out” he takes off.

We are in Zermatt, Switzerland. It’s the beginning of spring but the mountain is so high up, that we could still experience snow.

The scenery is so beautiful, it made me fall in love with white which I hardly recognized as a color by the way.

The scenic vision of the snow-covered mountains coerced me to change my mind about the color white. Also, this is my first time experiencing snow so I reserve the right to be mesmerized.

“Wait for me!” I run after Goldie, laughing.

I gave up on skiing in mere one hour into trying it. After falling down face first into the snow twenty or so times, I admitted defeat.

So I am just here to enjoy some quality time with Goldie who is totally whipped for the snow. And he is ignoring me, happily digging his head into the heap of snow.

Squinting my eyes at him, I cook up a plan. “Aaahhh!” I dramatically collapse on the ground, shivering when the snow grazes the side of my face. A small prize I’m willing to pay to snag his attention.

I play dead but Goldie is busy burying his body inside the pit he just dug.

Lifting my head up, I cough loudly and lie back fast, closing my eyes. After a few seconds, I crack open one eye and find him still at it.

I gasp in disbelief.You love snow more than mommy?

Fine then.

“Goldie!” I shout at the top of my lungs and his head whips in my direction. Abruptly, I lay my head back down and screw my eyes shut but not before catching the sight of him sprinting toward me.Good boy.

I sense him hovering over me, his warm breath over my cheek. He barks again then licks my face. I let him panic for about two more seconds before bursting out laughing. “Gotcha!”

He goes crazy then. Launching himself on me, wiggling his tail with his ears turned back. He licks my chin. “I’m okay, I’m okay,” I tell him, still laughing. Then all of a sudden, a pain stabs my chest, wiping the smile off my face.

“When would it hurt less?” I ask faintly as I rub my heart over my jacket.

It has been eleven days since I walked out of KIM Advertising after I was accused of leaking their ad campaign.

Eleven days. Eleven long days since I last sawhim. Archer. My chest feels tight as I let out a breath.

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