Page 194 of My Ruthless Opponent

Even though I try to escape the reality, his touch on my body pulls me back.

I had shut down my feelings before when it was time to face Raleigh. I got to admit, Raleigh played his part well. Because as soon as he saw me walking toward him, there was awe in his blue eyes.

He didn’t miss a beat as he cupped my jaw and said, “I am the lucky bastard, aren’t I?”

There, for a moment, I kept staring at him, silently begging him to drop the act and be real with me for once. When the awe in his eyes didn’t waver, I stiffened.

Why was all of this so difficult to me and not him?

My mind kept playing the conversations with Brielle, Archer, and Victor.

The afternoon sun is shining yet there is a big dark cloud over my head.

For the first time in a week, I am relieved when I parted from him.

I was barely holding on to my sanity as it was hard to keep my unreadable mask intact around him.

As he claims, he is attuned to me. He suspected something because he asked me twice if I was okay.

In a few minutes, I am supposed to walk down the aisle. I am so not okay. As I stared at his retreating back. I make a decision.

It was time, I thought to myself.

It was time for us to part ways. It was time to break this partnership with Raleigh. Or was there even a partnership to begin with? Anyway, I can’t betray so many people. I just can’t.

This guilt is spreading through me like poison. And before it takes my life, I have to make it stop. I can’t damage my already broken soul. Because that’s what it’ll do to me.

I am aware that I won’t last the whole year of my marriage because the battle between my brain and heart won’t let me.

I am seconds away from having a breakdown and this is just my wedding day. And I have a whole year to pretend.

Today, I am going to put myself first. I am going to choose myself. I am going to choose not to betray the people who blindly trust me. I am going to choose truthfulness over this sham of a wedding. I am going to choose hardship over promotion.

The promotion stipulated one to quit as it is, so that’s going to be me. This way, I won’t hurt anyone, and Raleigh will get what he rightfully deserves. His promotion.

We have finished the concept photoshoot. That means our contract is completed.

We successfully carried out the advertising campaign. It wouldn’t matter if we get married or not.

I am going back on my promise. I know this move might make Raleigh hate me forever.

It is a strong emotion. Hate. It feels like coming a full circle. After all, our journey began with hatred. This emotion brought us together and, with this emotion, we are going to drift apart.

Maybe this is how it was supposed to be. Maybe it was okay to not have a happy ending because our journey was amazing. So much so that it didn’t matter if our destination wasn’t the same anymore.

There is a heaviness in my heart as I watch him walk away from me. Maybe we were never meant to be.

Suddenly picturing my life without Raleigh guts me. It becomes too difficult to draw another breath in my lungs. My heart burns and my stomach is tied in knots.

My life will never be the same after him. He taught me to smile through my pain. He taught me it was okay to live in the moment and forget about the problems. He taught me that you can be carefree even when your heart was full of sorrows. He taught me to be brave. He taught me to love. And even if he doesn’t love me, I love him. I will always love Raleigh Jackson.

As he walks farther away, I smile as a tear drops from my eye.

I love you, Raleigh.

My heart begins beating hard when he stops. I pray for him to keep walking. But he doesn’t. Slowly, Raleigh turns, his lips curling into a mesmerizing smile as he waves at me. My chin trembles as I raise my hand and wave back.

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