Page 116 of Ford

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I guess…I felt left out. He had someone already, and I was clinging so tightly to him and…” She sighed. “My mother died a couple weeks ago.”

Oh, wow. “I’m sorry.”

Scarlett looked away, ran a hand across her cheekbone. “I don’t know why I’m crying. I didn’t cry at her funeral. She was completely messed up. She drank all the time, never kept a job. Went through men like animal crackers.”

“I don’t think I realized how strong she was until right now. She kept getting her heart broken, and yet she’d try again. And again. And I used to think it was weak to keep believing that some man would make you happy. But what if it was strong—to hang on to hope that hard?”

She met RJ’s eyes. “I don’t get it. How do you trust something you can’t see? Can’t know will turn out?”

“I don’t think it’s about everything turning out. But knowing that if it doesn’t, everything will still be okay.”

Scarlett said nothing.

“You know what you said about Ford—about him blaming me?”

She nodded.

“I don’t think it’s as much about blame as control. He’s always trying to figure out how to get it right. He was never a great student, but he excelled in sports. He’d spend hours critiquing himself, get up early to lift weights. He broke records in school for his weight training, and later, in track. If he doesn’t get it right the first time, he keeps trying and trying. But he’s not a great communicator. And he doesn’t ask for help. But when we were lost in the cave? He climbed up on that cold rock next to me and held us tight together, trying to keep me warm. I was skin and bones back then, and I am sure I would have died if he hadn’t stayed. So yeah, maybe I am to blame. But Ford never blamed me…he carried it all himself.”

RJ softened her voice. “None of my brothers are great communicators. But I promise you, what I saw out there was Fordcommunicating.”

Scarlett’s eyes glistened. “I shouldn’t have yelled at him. I was angry and…scared.” She sighed. “Truth is, I spend most of my time scared. Or at least, trying not to be.”

“You’re in Russia—”

“No. I’m not scared now.” She glanced at the closed door. “It’s what happens after we get home. My mother left behind a seven-year-old son—my half brother—and he’s in foster care right now, and I promised him I’d get him back. But I…I don’t have the first clue how to be a parent. Or how to take care of him. I just got accepted into the Rescue Swimmer program, and—”

“You feel like you owe it to your brother to take care of him.”

Scarlett lifted a shoulder.

“So, what is best for your brother? You or this home he’s in? Because maybe it’s not about you, but him. That’s what love is—doing what’s best for the other person, even if it’s hard, right?”

Scarlett drew in a long breath. Glanced at the door. Nodded.

“By the way, I think hope is also about who you hope in. Maybe you don’t trust the circumstances, but the source.”

I could find you when this is over.

RJ looked away, her breath catching.Please, God, let them be okay.Probably she should have been praying a long time before this, but she closed her eyes as they burned. Ran her hand across her cheek.If you want to stay alive, you need to keep your mouth shut and do everything I say.

Sorry, York.

She caught her lip before she made a sound, and when she felt a touch, saw that Scarlett had leaned over and reached out, her hand on her knee. “I think I’m not the only one who lost her heart in Russia.”

RJ forced a smile. “I don’t know. Maybe it was just the heat of the moment—the crazy chaos— it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Nope. It’s my job to notice things. And I saw York’s expression when he thought you were the one shot.”

“He was just worried. He promised to get me out of the country.”

“He kissed you like he meant it. Not that I was watching…” Scarlett winked.

Oh. RJ could still taste him on her lips, the power of his touch vibrating through her. “And I left him for the FSB.”

Scarlett’s mouth tightened. “How much trouble is he in?”

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